Can't seem to get past it.

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Dylexsmommy
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Unread post Wed Jan 16, 2019 3:39 pm

pinkbutterfly66 wrote:
Thu Sep 27, 2018 10:35 pm
I've started dreaming about my brother again. In my dreams, he looks no different from the way I remember him when he died. Emaciated, like pictures you see of the very sick or starving in Africa. One dream woke me up at 2am and it was 8 or 9am before I could go back to sleep. I wish I could stop remembering all the horrible stuff the last month before his death. The anniversary of his death is coming up next month. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.
I'm sorry. Have you been looking at happy healthy pictures?
You miss him, so miss the good memories most. I'd fill my head with the good pictures from when you were young and before he got sick.
wait for it...

Its always a good day when an online stranger calls you an idiot.
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pinkbutterfly66
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Unread post Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:07 pm

Dylexsmommy wrote:
Wed Jan 16, 2019 3:39 pm
pinkbutterfly66 wrote:
Thu Sep 27, 2018 10:35 pm
I've started dreaming about my brother again. In my dreams, he looks no different from the way I remember him when he died. Emaciated, like pictures you see of the very sick or starving in Africa. One dream woke me up at 2am and it was 8 or 9am before I could go back to sleep. I wish I could stop remembering all the horrible stuff the last month before his death. The anniversary of his death is coming up next month. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.
I'm sorry. Have you been looking at happy healthy pictures?
You miss him, so miss the good memories most. I'd fill my head with the good pictures from when you were young and before he got sick.
I really don't have any. We just don't take a lot of pictures in my family.
Women who behave seldom make history
Kalea
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Unread post Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:46 pm

I'm sorry for your loss.
I understand what you're saying. Last year from early May to mid December I was in Florida taking care of my Dad and his girlfriend till they passed. I'm a senior caregiver at home and volunteer over night at a nursing home to relieve a family sitting with a family member in their last days. I'm used to seeing people go.
Connie (Dads girlfriend) passed end of August....a very peaceful passing with her family at her side. Her last words to me were "thank you so much for taking such good care of me and Dad".
My Dad passed early November.....struggling to breathe. He smoked 3 cigarettes in a row and slumped over and passed within moments. I was alone with the hospice nurse.
I can still see his face during his last moments .....horrified !
It's been 7 months since he's passed and I miss him so much !
Try and take one day at a time....especially when you are hurting and memories come up. Think about the happy times.
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pinkbutterfly66
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Unread post Wed Aug 21, 2019 4:58 pm

Kalea wrote:
Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:46 pm
I'm sorry for your loss.
I understand what you're saying. Last year from early May to mid December I was in Florida taking care of my Dad and his girlfriend till they passed. I'm a senior caregiver at home and volunteer over night at a nursing home to relieve a family sitting with a family member in their last days. I'm used to seeing people go.
Connie (Dads girlfriend) passed end of August....a very peaceful passing with her family at her side. Her last words to me were "thank you so much for taking such good care of me and Dad".
My Dad passed early November.....struggling to breathe. He smoked 3 cigarettes in a row and slumped over and passed within moments. I was alone with the hospice nurse.
I can still see his face during his last moments .....horrified !
It's been 7 months since he's passed and I miss him so much !
Try and take one day at a time....especially when you are hurting and memories come up. Think about the happy times.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm still not there yet. I can't remember happy times without all the horrible memories of his illness flooding back. I'll be fine and then something mundane reminds me of him and how much I miss him.
Women who behave seldom make history
EarlGrayHot
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Unread post Wed Oct 30, 2019 1:36 pm

That is totally normal. My dear husband has been gone close to seven years and it's only in the last two or three that I can really smile thinking about happy memories. I still get teary thinking about his last year though. Eventually you will move on to a different kind of life without the people you love but you never forget. It just takes a while.
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