SN kiddo's education

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Lovehurts wrote: Wed Jul 18, 2018 4:46 pm
First and foremost, does he have a 504 plan? I want to make sure that you are aware of his legal rights as a child with an LD. I wish I could tell you that there is an easy solution to this, but there's not. It takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and bucking to advocate for your child. And probably include some harsh sacrifices. Sacrifices you might think you cant make now, but down the road you may have to if it comes down a simple choice. I dont mean to sound bleak, but we have all been there and done that, and it sucks. So in case you havent been there yet, I wouldnt want to lie to you. Where my son is now wasnt by chance or without its hurdles. And we are not done, so we have many more roadblocks to overcome.

First off, don't let the school pursued you that THEY are your childs true advocate. Nope! That is your job and don't let them tell you any different. Sure it would be nice, as parents, not having to worry if the school really has the best interests for your child and that they do know whats best. Truth is, its not often the case. Expect to have this struggle everywhere you go with your son. and probably every year once your child is in middle school. Some teachers are so AWESOME when it comes to your childs needs. They really care and want you child to succeed. Unfortunately, I have ran into some teachers who didnt care to bother themselves. My son's 6th grade year was by far the worst. His math teacher would bury my son in class work and homework, so much that he never had enough time to finish his other homework. Many times I had to stay up late into the night with him, trying to get his work done, so he wouldn't receive a failing grade in math. He would be in tears tired and just wanting to go to sleep but he was too worried about failing math. Eventually, I would have to do some of his other homework for him. No it wasnt technically the right thing for me to do and I wouldnt advise it in any other case, but it wasnt right for him to be put in that spot to begin with. Not after he had made so much progress then started to slowly drop down again and lose interest in learning all over again. Id be damned if we were going to start that whole process over again. The math teacher and I went head to head many times that year. His LA teacher and I both cornered her ( nicely) in the hall one day because the both of us saw what it was doing to my him. As a parent you do what you have to do even if that means breaking a few rules. Your childs future and sanity are whats important. As anyone can tell, my strange efforts didnt hurt him any. And I only did the work that I new he could probably do in his sleep. He's a wiz at science and history. I would just ask him if he knew this and that and he would give me the quick answer like it was nothing. He still had to do the work he was struggling on.

Your child deserves better and nobody has more stake in your childs future than you do. So be ready to FIGHT! Even now, with my son having graduated from the program, I know I still have a long ways to go. I heard high school is the hardest of them all. Knowing that is my focal point to push back and push as hard as I can. I was wanting to get him as ready for high school as I possibly could because believe it or not, by that time kids with LDs will get left behind. I dont know why, but I've been warned by many parents whose kids have been through it as well as his own specialists. So by all means necessary do whatever it takes right now to get him where he needs to be, or as much help as he needs. If that means digging your heals in the ground and demanding they help you figure out a better solution, biting the bullet and sending him to an expensive school, or just moving altogether to a better district then so be it. I dont know what efore they did, that he had it. In kindergarten, I told the teacher, in first grade I told the teacher. I tis a viable option for you, but whatever you can figure out would help you out in the long run.

We actually moved for this purpose. The district my son was in wouldnt even test him for dyslexia. I knew way bold his reading specialist too his first grade year. I got " we are very knowledgeable about the signs of dyslexia and we just dont see it". His reading teacher finally called me the last day of his first grade year to tell me that she thinks he is dyslexic. Then she tried to explain to me what that was, as if I hadn't known about it before. That was my decision to move. We had to move an hour away, to a well to do town that is not very budget friendly to us. We get by but we have made many sacrifices in order to get him the best education we could possibly afford. Which is sad because its a public school, but I digress lol. As it stands, it really has paid off in a much bigger way. Sure we are not able to afford much of the extras many parents would like to be able to afford. We cant afford to put our kids in extracurricular activities. We are living in a crappy house -though its a roof and four walls so it works, and we live as basic as we can. But we know that our end game is in sight and our son , as well as our other children, will have a much better chance here than living in a place where they dont value a childs right to education or they simply cant afford it.

A lot of times it depends on the town/city you live in. I hate to sound bouge, because thats just not me, but I have learned that many of the better options you will find in education are the districts in suburban cities with high taxes. Not in every case but most cases I have seen that in my area. It makes sense because a lot of the tax money goes towards the cost of education in most towns like the one I live in. They can do better in some areas, but at least they have a higher standard and are able to afford better opportunities.
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Thanks for you input & thoughts.

My DS has an IEP, no 504. We do not really need a 504, as in my understanding he is already covered under it & it would just be duplication of the IEP document. We developed the IEP in the 1st grade, review it annually and he is now heading into 3rd grade. We had an emergent IEP meeting at the end of last year, to increase his time in SPED ED classes, so he could really truly only focus on reading more during the day. However, that is a double edged sword as he is in there with other children, who have behavior and other learning issues.

We live in a affluent area, with high property taxes and therefore, good schools. I have heard we are ranked high in the nation, although I haven't really looked that up. But the median income and testing scores are much higher average. I don't think the school is bad, in fact for typical kids, it seems really great. I just don't feel they are equipped to deal with severe dyslexia in a manner that is specialized to my DS. So my options are augment on my own time & my own money or engage in a costly legal battle trying to get an exception, which likely I would lose, and be "that parent" who has 2 other children who would feel that aftermath staying in public school.

I understand your motivation and countless hours you have likely put into you DS. I applaud your efforts. I am taking a different approach. After too many fights & tears, I decided mid-way through 2nd grade, that I was done with battling and doing homework for hours. I tell my DS how vital it is to learn to read. I tell my DS that I believe in him and I think he is capable of doing great things. I tell DS that nearly any time in the evening, night or morning, I am here to help him with learning, all he needs to do is ask. I will even remind him, he should practice and do homework. I set boundaries on play and video time. I will assure he has everything recorded in audio format as back up to learn from...BUT I will not make him, demand he does his homework or do it for him. It's his journey, he must be the one that walks this road, not on my back, but on his own two feet. And I believe in him, he will walk, he will do it, but I do want to make the journey as least difficult for him as possible. If he earns bad grades, he will earn bad grades. But he has to have internal motivation, that's most important for us!

I hope your DS does well in high school. As you have likely read, dyslexia, despite it's struggles, has benefits as well, I am sure those will serve him well.
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I just popped into this group for the first time tonight. This post grabbed my attention. And YOUR RESPONSE further grabbed my attention. I just wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the time to respond to this poster in a kind, sensitive, caring, and resourceful manner. It is so REFRESHING to see such compassion and kindness! I hope others follow your example! This is so nice to see!
Lovehurts wrote: Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:40 am My son is also dyslexic. He was DX in the 2nd grade. They used the orton Gillingham program and for a while it didn't seem to work. At the end of his third grade year he was reading at preprimer level. By the middle of his fourth grade year he started to pick up on the program and he took off from there.

I owe a lot to his teachers and the program. But the number one thing that really helped him above all else was the time and dedication we all spent on his confidence, because that was the biggest wall that kept him from moving forward. I can 100% attest to the importance of confidence.

To give you an example of what your son can achieve. My son went from starting the 4th grade reading at preprimer. He is now going into the 8th grade with a lexile of 1600. This number is above the average 11th- 12th grade lexile reports. He has scored in the top 5% of his grade in state testing in past 2 years. He has also already taken his SATs through the duke tip program. He just finished reading the Silmarillion for the third time lol.
So many people told me that my son would struggle all his life and basically he would only be a mediocre student at best because of his LD. I didn't believe that for a moment and I didnt let my son believe it either. Yes his LD will be a struggle, and he struggles in a lot of other ways. It takes him a lot longer to finish his work, to take tests. He still spells like a second grader, and writes like one too, but the rest of that is B.S.. He certainly isnt a mediocre student.

Also check into nearby schools who offer dyslexia programs. Where we are, if your child has an LD or special needs, and they cant provide adequate programs for your child, they allow you to go to the nearest school that suits your child's needs. I believe it's called a hardship transfer here. They might have something like that where you reside.
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I know you are frustrated. Have you looked into moving? I absolutely agree that it's not fair to try to teach him more after he's been at school all day. But, if he can't read then he's missing a lot. The longer you stretch this out, the harder it will be for him to catch up and the more stupid he will feel.

Why can't you homeschool? It doesn't have to be during the regular school day. I know someone whose son has severe anxiety. She's a single mom who works full-time. She homeschools on nights and weekends. He's watched by his grandparents during the day.

Several years ago, I was curious and looked up the curricula for a Master's in Special Education and as a Reading Specialist at a local university which is respected for teacher education. Neither has anything specific about dyslexia. Regular teachers certainly aren't trained in it. Paras don't get any training and they get paid dirt, so don't expect anything there.

Is there a Lindamood-Bell https://lindamoodbell.com near you? I don't have first-hand knowledge of their program, but it would be an alternative to OG.
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Have you looked into the Sylvan Learning Center? They were a God sent for my son.
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Reedusstalker wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:17 pm Have you looked into the Sylvan Learning Center? They were a God sent for my son.
Thanks we tried that last summer, it was not effective for my DS.
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Ask the school if they offer scholarships based on financial need. A lot of private schools do.
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pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:19 pm Ask the school if they offer scholarships based on financial need. A lot of private schools do.
They do actually, but with our household income, we did not qualify, for much last year. Each year, I guess it varies based on fundraising.
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Ya know, I just had a thought. What if you called your local university special education department and asked if there were any seniors who were familiar already with the Orton Gillingham method who would be willing to tutor your son over the summer? Who knows, there might be someone who can work with him and get him reading.
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pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Apr 10, 2019 7:52 pm Ya know, I just had a thought. What if you called your local university special education department and asked if there were any seniors who were familiar already with the Orton Gillingham method who would be willing to tutor your son over the summer? Who knows, there might be someone who can work with him and get him reading.
Thanks, believe it or not, they don’t teach Orton Gilliingham in the curriculum. This summer I am actually hiring his SPED ED teacher who has him this year. She is brand new, and although, not certified, She is energetic, and she knows him. So we persevere on...but thanks for thinking of us. DS is readin at about a 1st grade level pretty consistently, unless he is tired,, at the end of 3rd grade. It could be worse.
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LiveWhatULove wrote: Thu Apr 11, 2019 11:14 pm
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Apr 10, 2019 7:52 pm Ya know, I just had a thought. What if you called your local university special education department and asked if there were any seniors who were familiar already with the Orton Gillingham method who would be willing to tutor your son over the summer? Who knows, there might be someone who can work with him and get him reading.
Thanks, believe it or not, they don’t teach Orton Gilliingham in the curriculum. This summer I am actually hiring his SPED ED teacher who has him this year. She is brand new, and although, not certified, She is energetic, and she knows him. So we persevere on...but thanks for thinking of us. DS is readin at about a 1st grade level pretty consistently, unless he is tired,, at the end of 3rd grade. It could be worse.
I found this link. The way any child improves reading skills, dyslexia or not, is through exposure to words either by being read to or games. I found this link that might help him over the summer.
https://www.speedreadinglounge.com/dyslexia-games

Also, using his other senses, like touch for instance. There are magnetic word games that you can use to make stories, write poetry, etc. A set on the fridge to encourage the whole family to participate in might would be fun for him too. Like this one:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1928576737/re ... =UTF8&th=1

Finally, I would pursue finding a special ed advocate for you to either get your school district to give him the accommodations that he needs or suing the district to pay for the tuition at the school that will. It's been done before. I wish the moms from the Autism and Special Needs groups on Cafe Mom were here. They'd be able to point you to how to get hooked up with a SE advocate. The problem with Dyslexia is depending on the state, there are laws that are in the state's favor and not the student's so the schools aren't required to do much for them because they don't recognize dyslexia as something that they are required to address.

https://dyslexiaida.org/dyslexia-laws-status-by-state/
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