My fiance doesnt want any more kids...

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carterscutie85
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:43 pm
carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:34 pm DH and I were on the same page when we met. We were both 100% certain we didn't want more kids. You couldn't have told us we'd change our minds cause we'd have thought you were nuts.

But here we are 4 years later and I'm due December 11th lol.
Did you change your minds or did it just happen?
I had run out of birth control and my OB couldn't get me in till like 2 weeks after I ran out. Well going off it I noticed I just felt so much better. My anxiety and depression was just almost non existent after that. So I really think it was messing with me.

At first we prevented with Natural Family Planning, but then we decided if it happens it happens, but we weren't going to track my cycles or anything to try and force it. Still took almost a year, and we lost that baby. It was then we knew we really wanted one, like we knew we wanted to purposely make it happen, not just be OK either way. 3 months later I became pregnant with the one I'm carrying now.
That'swhatshesaid
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:42 pm
TheMomster wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:30 pm One kid is A LOT when you don't want more. You need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. I know I do not want anymore so if I was with someone who did I would reconsider where the relationship was going.
I dont want to lose him. But I think he really needs to think about having 1 more kid.
You're going to have to decide what is more important to you, marrying him or having another child. This is something that could cause a lot of resentment for both of you, no matter which decision you make.
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MrsDavidB
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:42 pm
TheMomster wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:30 pm One kid is A LOT when you don't want more. You need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. I know I do not want anymore so if I was with someone who did I would reconsider where the relationship was going.
I dont want to lose him. But I think he really needs to think about having 1 more kid.
But that would make 4 kids for him to support/love/tend to. That's a very big deal. You only have 1 so don't see the big deal with just another. Think about his view.
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I'm on the fiance's side mostly because nothing will ever get me to have another child. Yds is 15, older one is in college, and I enjoy my freedom to go out If I desire or tell him to make dinner please etc. If my brother and his wife died tomorrow I'd take my niece of course. But that's it. You may have to decide which is more important him or the baby. And it's not fair to force 18 years of responsibility for a child on someone who doesn't want it. Find another who wants a baby too.
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MrsDavidB wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:57 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:42 pm
TheMomster wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:30 pm One kid is A LOT when you don't want more. You need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. I know I do not want anymore so if I was with someone who did I would reconsider where the relationship was going.
I dont want to lose him. But I think he really needs to think about having 1 more kid.
But that would make 4 kids for him to support/love/tend to. That's a very big deal. You only have 1 so don't see the big deal with just another. Think about his view.
But he should see my point of view too.
QuantumNursing
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 3:05 pm
MrsDavidB wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:57 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:42 pm

I dont want to lose him. But I think he really needs to think about having 1 more kid.
But that would make 4 kids for him to support/love/tend to. That's a very big deal. You only have 1 so don't see the big deal with just another. Think about his view.
But he should see my point of view too.
What does your point of veiw have to with anything...This isn;t about you
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I would leave. I knew that I wanted kids. It's huge for me. I was fine with adopting or getting pregnant. I have always wanted to be a mom and have a big family. It was one of the first things I talked about with dh. I was going to have a big family and if he wanted ti be with me, he had to be on board
cellomom26
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Pressuring someone to have a child they don't want is never a good idea.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:42 pm
TheMomster wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 2:30 pm One kid is A LOT when you don't want more. You need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. I know I do not want anymore so if I was with someone who did I would reconsider where the relationship was going.
I dont want to lose him. But I think he really needs to think about having 1 more kid.
I think you really need to think about being happy with four.
mrsmacgiver
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I think..it's rare to find someone you truly love and are committed to- even more rare to feel the same way about your step kids. I don't think you should leave. I also don't think you should pressure him into having more. If he changes his mind, great. If not, you should really consider accepting the life you already have. If you can't accept that, then you aren't committed to him or his children.
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