Mother's day and mom just died

[CherryTreez]

My mom died a few weeks ago. I am heartbroken. She wasn't young, but I miss my mom. Mother's day has been hard for me for years. My baby daughter died 10 years ago. I have tried to keep up the brave face for my other children. But I hate mothers day.

My mil wants a big family dinner at her house for mother's day. I told my dh that I am not going. I don't care what he tells them. I refuse to spend this mother's day with his mom and grandma and all the aunts..... they are not my mother. We have been with his mom the last 9 years. We don't live by my family.

I want to stay home with my children and do something that honors my mom. I feel bad because I know dh will choose to stay with me and the kids and not go to his moms. Would you suck it up and go? So stay home and do your own thing?

[SallyMae]

So, so sorry to hear your news about your mom. Condolences and hugs. If doing something for your own mom feels right, go with it.

[RIZZY]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. How you feel is completely normal. My father died about 2 weeks before Father's Day. It was rough. I didn't even have the energy to celebrate my husband, much less my step dad or father in law but I tried my best. I put on a brave face for them and I'm glad I did. Others don't deserve to not be celebrated just because I was in pain, you know? I would go. If you absolutely cannot go, then make your husband go. Tell him it is a gift to you. You don't want your relationship with your MIL to suffer and it will suffer less if it at least he shows up. Whether you go or not, still do something special for your mom. You will be glad you did.

[MonarchMom]

I'm very sorry to hear about you losing your Mom. You should do what gives you comfort and solace on the holiday.

I hope you can choose to honor your own Mom, your daughter, and your own role as a Mother in the way that feels right to you. If you DH feels a need to join his family, he can go there for part of the day. No reason you need to be a part of festivities while you are grieving. This might be the year to start a new tradition.

[jas]

I am sorry for you loss. I honestly think this year you should do for yourself. It will help ease the grief.

[Quorra2.0]

My condolences on your loss. I can only imagine the pain of losing a parent and with Mother’s Day coming up it’s going to be harder for you. No, I wouldn’t suck it up. You are a mother. It’s your day too. What you want and need at this time matters more than a dinner with extended family, playing happy happy joy joy when your heart will be in such pain. If they don’t understand this or respect this, that’s on them. Your Dh is an adult. He can make his own choices. If he chooses to spend that day with you and the kids, then he should and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it.

[AZOldGal66]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous 1]

Honor/remember your mother how you see fit. Let your husband decide how best to celebrate his mother and let your kids decide how to celebrate you.

[CherryTreez]

I'm very sorry to hear about you losing your Mom. You should do what gives you comfort and solace on the holiday.

I hope you can choose to honor your own Mom, your daughter, and your own role as a Mother in the way that feels right to you. If you DH feels a need to join his family, he can go there for part of the day. No reason you need to be a part of festivities while you are grieving. This might be the year to start a new tradition.

Thank you. I think I needed another voice to say that I am okay not going.

[CherryTreez]

Honor/remember your mother how you see fit. Let your husband decide how best to celebrate his mother and let your kids decide how to celebrate you.

My kids will be with me. They have told me that they will do whatever I am doing.