Dd attempted suicide...and im indifferent(long read)

[Pjmm]

Sounds like she likes the attention and connections she makes in the hospital.

And she does attention-seeking behaviors to get into the hospital.

Maybe I'm an idiot but what? Why would any teenager want to go into a hospital? Especially a mental hospital? These people are mentally ill but not stupid. It's no vacation from all I hear. And connections? Do you even hear yourself? Why would she go to a hospital for that?

[Anonymous 9]

Sounds like she likes the attention and connections she makes in the hospital.

And she does attention-seeking behaviors to get into the hospital.

Maybe I'm an idiot but what? Why would any teenager want to go into a hospital? Especially a mental hospital? These people are mentally ill but not stupid. It's no vacation from all I hear. And connections? Do you even hear yourself? Why would she go to a hospital for that?

I work in mental health they're frequent flyers they do all sorts of things to get into the hospital swallowing things cutting themselves and they learn from people they meet in the hospital what they can do next time.

Op even said in her post that her dd kept talking about all the friends she met there.

[madfoodie]

My daughter went through the same thing. She said she was gay. Wanted to be called Ali instead if Alyshia which we did. She wanted to dress like a boy we bought her clothes. Wanted to be a vegan which I made her meals vegan.
She was very supported no matter what. She tried to commit suicide and I thought it was me not being as supportive as I could be. Especially since she was very distant from the whole family during visits.
They figured out the medication she needed and the proper dosages.
It helped tremedasly.
While I worried sick while she was in there it was the best thing at the time.
Oh she almost committed suicide because a boy was bullying her very badly at school.

[Anonymous 7]

Sounds like she likes the attention and connections she makes in the hospital.

And she does attention-seeking behaviors to get into the hospital.

Maybe I'm an idiot but what? Why would any teenager want to go into a hospital? Especially a mental hospital? These people are mentally ill but not stupid. It's no vacation from all I hear. And connections? Do you even hear yourself? Why would she go to a hospital for that?

I am a psychologist and see this type of attention-seeking behavior all the time. Often the kid feels neglected or ignored at home and will act out so that their parents “notice” them. Some also feel they can manipulate their parents into getting what they want. Obviously this isn’t to say that every kid admitted to the hospital is acting out or seeking attention, but it does frequently happen.

[Anonymous 1]

Sounds like she likes the attention and connections she makes in the hospital.

And she does attention-seeking behaviors to get into the hospital.

Maybe I'm an idiot but what? Why would any teenager want to go into a hospital? Especially a mental hospital? These people are mentally ill but not stupid. It's no vacation from all I hear. And connections? Do you even hear yourself? Why would she go to a hospital for that?

I am a psychologist and see this type of attention-seeking behavior all the time. Often the kid feels neglected or ignored at home and will act out so that their parents “notice” them. Some also feel they can manipulate their parents into getting what they want. Obviously this isn’t to say that every kid admitted to the hospital is acting out or seeking attention, but it does frequently happen.

Thank you. Dd15 does enjoy being in the hospital...she's told me so.She gets tons of attention,makes friends (which is hard for her being autistic but she makes friends at the hospital easily) ,they play games,listen to music,she's catered to,she learned new games,they had gameshows where she won prizes etc.She literally went on and on about how fun the hospital was when she got back home.

When the police came I was totally shocked not even dressed but dd had her bag packed with all the books and toys she wanted to bring to the hospital which pissed me off because obviously this was planned ..

Her prior hospitalization happened when I asked her to log onto the computer and do her schoolwork...before that she was fine laughing joking with her brother but when i said okay hun time to do your schoolwork you've been neglecting for 2 weeks she texted her counselor she was suicidal and she got out of doing her work.

Ppl may bash me but i see the pattern with dd
.I see the manipulation and no one can tell me this girl doesn't know what she's doing.

Is she depressed?yes but she's also manipulative.As for being trans she flat out told me she isn't trans...doesn't want to dress masculine ,wants to wear long pink hair,have a purple and pink flower themed room ,wants her nails painted pink at the salon

But so called suicidal because i won't call her kyle?! Are you friggin kidding me?! She wants attention and idk how much more attention can i give her im around her 24/7 ..she even goes you work with me.

[Anonymous 1]

My daughter went through the same thing. She said she was gay. Wanted to be called Ali instead if Alyshia which we did. She wanted to dress like a boy we bought her clothes. Wanted to be a vegan which I made her meals vegan.
She was very supported no matter what. She tried to commit suicide and I thought it was me not being as supportive as I could be. Especially since she was very distant from the whole family during visits.
They figured out the medication she needed and the proper dosages.
It helped tremedasly.
While I worried sick while she was in there it was the best thing at the time.
Oh she almost committed suicide because a boy was bullying her very badly at school.

Dd is on medication and she wrote in her chat that it doesn't help.I think if i call her kyle she will still be attention seeking and manipulative but i will try...this is the LAST thing I'm doing i cant be as supportive as you unfortunately .

[Anonymous 11]

Well then good for her for getting away from you. And clearly good for you because you can't stand to be around your own child. Glad she was able to escape your hatred of her. I'm sure it didn't help her to know her own mother can't stand anything about her & has wanted to wash her hands of her for quite awhile.

[Anonymous 12]

I am in therapy for myself thats why i refuse to go crazy over this.This is self care.What am i supposed to do crawl up in a ball crying and blaming myself? Im a single parent im spread thin enough.Im not going to allow dd to break me.The first few times I was a blubbering mess but now its almost routine so im not phased by it.Im a bit angry and fed up thats how I feel...Im not going to apologize for how I feel.Im not going to send myself into a nuthouse either .As far as her being trans she is not ive asked her she doesnt even want to dress masculine she says she's non binary...which is personally a load of shit idk who came up with that shit but okay sure Jan.You can be gay trans WHATEVER I dont care but i still expect you to go to school try your best come home etc.Thats all I expect.

She clearly doesnt want to live here thats why i said she need to be in a longterm facility.

Glad you're in therapy - you need more of it. Seriously... SHE'S NOT TRYING TO BREAK YOU!!! You're shit for a mother at this point. This isn't about YOU. It's never about YOU.
My autistic son tried to kill himself. No, I didn't ball up and cry blaming myself. I F***ing stood up and did what I had to to get him the help he needed. You are so offended by what she wrote and how she feels. You need to get over yourself and start making it about her.

Actually she could be. I used to do very similar things as a teenager. I wanted to break my parents down so I could win. It makes no sense to me now but back then it did. I would do anything to win that situation. Help didn't matter because it would mean I wasn't winning.

[Anonymous 12]

Sounds like she likes the attention and connections she makes in the hospital.

And she does attention-seeking behaviors to get into the hospital.

Maybe I'm an idiot but what? Why would any teenager want to go into a hospital? Especially a mental hospital? These people are mentally ill but not stupid. It's no vacation from all I hear. And connections? Do you even hear yourself? Why would she go to a hospital for that?

I know multiple people who liked going. It was a break from reality. We all would get together and be able to hang out. They encourage group activities for anyone well enough to participate. You have food brought to you and no real responsibilities. Everyone gives you a lot of attention and it can feel like you are the center of the world, like nothing else matters. I remember planning with my friends about talking about killing ourselves so we could be in there together.

You seem ignorant about this situation. I'm not saying that to be rude just pointing out that you are lucky you didn't have to go through that as a kid or as a parent.

[Anonymous 13]

Consider the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) method. It is a new approach to childhood mental health issues which involves not indulging phobias, etc. Kids are encouraged to control themselves instead of acting out, have less therapy instead of more. Couldn't hurt.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ge/609079/