Mother is hospital...she turns into a baby

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You should honor the way you feel. Honor your inner child. You can never undo the past, but, you can find someone approx your mothers age, someone that you can look up to and reach out to. Try to fill that void so you can heal. Parents can be very disappointing. Maybe its time to put this burden down.
Anonymous 5

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Good God, KooKoo. Just stop talking to your shitty family.
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Baconqueen13
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:37 am
mojogirl wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:23 pm Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you got her victim mentality. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. You don't cut her out cause then you couldn't play the matyr card.
I didnt cut her out because she has cancer and we lost 3 family members this past year..our family has dwindled down to almost nothing.Im sticking around because her cancer is terminal and I dont want to feel guilty if something happens.
No, Mojogirl is right, just look at all your responses they always end with ALL the shit you have going on which makes it soooo difficult for you and how it makes you the "bad guy" in the eyes of your family which is nothing more than you switching and playing the victim card yourself. You don't stick around because "You don't want to feel guilty" you stick around so you've got something to bitch about and blame for all your problems instead of looking in the damned mirror and blaming the one truly responsible.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:25 am Every time my mother goes into the hospital she turns into a big ass attention seeking baby and it drives me up the wall. She's not the nicest person on the best day...so she's in the hospital because her cancer is giving her pain and she's blowing up my phone with demands...she wants this and that okay fine but she expects daily visits and I told her no...she even almost refused to go to the hospital because she said no one will visit her and I said so what we facetime everyday and we send messages on facebook messenger all day that should be enough. It's a pain in the ass to drive into manhattan ,pay $22 at a parking garage just to give her a snickers bar and listen to her rant for an hour meanwhile my kids are at home and im missing work/things i want to do.

Maybe i'd feel different if she didnt abuse me my whole life and left me with a ton of issues im still battling daily...Im still struggling last night i was in my car driving and crying because I seek validation from men because she always dismissed me growing up making me feel like absolute shit....now i don't wanna go above and beyond for her and baby her when I was never extended that same courtesy. My ex boyfriend beat the shit out of me and i was in the hospital and no one in my family came to check on me .She saw me some days later bruised up and didnt say a word...

Now im supposed to drop everything to run to your bedside and listen to you bitch about everything under the sun...

Im barely making it thru phone calls and facetimes because I want to throw the phone when i see her attention seeking face.
If you're not careful you will turn into your mother. You're still constantly bringing up your childhood, complaining, struggling, crying. If you don't seek help for yourself the cycle will continue. Get help and don't bring any of this up in front of your children.
Anonymous 2

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I wouldn't care who was mad at me. I'd do what was best for me.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:37 am
mojogirl wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:23 pm Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you got her victim mentality. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. You don't cut her out cause then you couldn't play the matyr card.
I didnt cut her out because she has cancer and we lost 3 family members this past year..our family has dwindled down to almost nothing.Im sticking around because her cancer is terminal and I dont want to feel guilty if something happens.
Then you must think she has money or property she's going to leave you. I really can't think of any other explanation why you would continue to subject yourself, and, more importantly, your children, to a woman who you've painted as being nothing but abusive.
Anonymous 2

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Isn't her mom in a hospital? How would her visiting her mom subject her children to anything?

I do understand why she's visiting her mom. She wants to be sure that when her mother dies, she feels no regret. And IMO (and experience), that's probably a wise route to take. I think she can accomplish that by just visiting her mother when she is able to. She doesn't need to go overboard. In fact, she most definitely should not go overboard. She should do whatever she can so that in the end, when her mother is gone, she can feel good about what she did. Again, though, she shouldn't tolerate crap while doing it. :o
mojogirl wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:20 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:37 am
mojogirl wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:23 pm Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you got her victim mentality. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. You don't cut her out cause then you couldn't play the matyr card.
I didnt cut her out because she has cancer and we lost 3 family members this past year..our family has dwindled down to almost nothing.Im sticking around because her cancer is terminal and I dont want to feel guilty if something happens.
Then you must think she has money or property she's going to leave you. I really can't think of any other explanation why you would continue to subject yourself, and, more importantly, your children, to a woman who you've painted as being nothing but abusive.
Anonymous 7

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Anonymous 2 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:32 pm Isn't her mom in a hospital? How would her visiting her mom subject her children to anything?

I do understand why she's visiting her mom. She wants to be sure that when her mother dies, she feels no regret. And IMO (and experience), that's probably a wise route to take. I think she can accomplish that by just visiting her mother when she is able to. She doesn't need to go overboard. In fact, she most definitely should not go overboard. She should do whatever she can so that in the end, when her mother is gone, she can feel good about what she did. Again, though, she shouldn't tolerate crap while doing it. :o
mojogirl wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:20 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:37 am

I didnt cut her out because she has cancer and we lost 3 family members this past year..our family has dwindled down to almost nothing.Im sticking around because her cancer is terminal and I dont want to feel guilty if something happens.
Then you must think she has money or property she's going to leave you. I really can't think of any other explanation why you would continue to subject yourself, and, more importantly, your children, to a woman who you've painted as being nothing but abusive.
I agree... I understand her wanting to do it so she is not left with any regret or guilt.
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