DD is refusing to go to her dad's house

[Anonymous 4]

My step daughter did the same thing at your DD's age. Many years after the fact, we learned it was because she couldn't stand me. Does your DD say why she doesn't want to see her father?

My 14 year old DD, refuses to even TALK to her dad and he lives 2 miles away. He has tried to get her to go with him. That caused a scene. I stayed out of it. I told him she could go, but I wasn't dragging her out the door.

He told the court that I wasn't letting her go. I explained that they were more than welcome to go with him, but I wasn't going to drag them out kicking and screaming and I wasn't go to allow him too either. They told him that if she (or any of the kids) refuse to go by their own choice, that I was not forced to send them. The other 2 have never not wanted to go with him when and if he takes them, but DD 14 at this point will not even talk to him.

All she will say, is that he doesn't care about her because he doesn't call her or text her, but will call her brother. He hasn't talked to her but once since March. He still only wants to take them to do little kids things like the zoo or aquarium (When they are open). So according to her if he doesn't give a damn then she doesn't either.

[Anonymous 3]

That's a shame. Is he aware of how she feels (about never texting her, etc.,)? I mean...one would think he should know enough to know she'd want to hear from him. But if she hasn't already told him how this makes her feel, I'd encourage her to. Poor kid.

My step daughter did the same thing at your DD's age. Many years after the fact, we learned it was because she couldn't stand me. Does your DD say why she doesn't want to see her father?

My 14 year old DD, refuses to even TALK to her dad and he lives 2 miles away. He has tried to get her to go with him. That caused a scene. I stayed out of it. I told him she could go, but I wasn't dragging her out the door.

He told the court that I wasn't letting her go. I explained that they were more than welcome to go with him, but I wasn't going to drag them out kicking and screaming and I wasn't go to allow him too either. They told him that if she (or any of the kids) refuse to go by their own choice, that I was not forced to send them. The other 2 have never not wanted to go with him when and if he takes them, but DD 14 at this point will not even talk to him.

All she will say, is that he doesn't care about her because he doesn't call her or text her, but will call her brother. He hasn't talked to her but once since March. He still only wants to take them to do little kids things like the zoo or aquarium (When they are open). So according to her if he doesn't give a damn then she doesn't either.

[Anonymous 5]

Idk.. I guess I’m not understanding. How is her risk any higher with him than it is with you? Even with a spike in cases. Practice basic common sense and hygiene.

There are a lot of differences. Everyone in my house is able to stay home and quarentine. That is not the case at his house, both him and his roommate work with the general public. She will be at higher risk just spending time with him than she ever was at home.

So for the last 5 month neither you nor her went ANYWHERE?

[Anonymous 2]

I don't see any reason she can't go and spend time with her dad and do pretty much what I'm assuming she is doing with you and stay home. There is no need to go out and about at 15 years old.

I work from home. Her dad doesn't. Neither does his roommate. She is worried about getting exposed. She does not have the same options at his house as she does at mine. Even if they stayed home the whole time which isn't realistic.

Ridiculous excuse IMO.

[Anonymous 1]

We go on walks and a couple hikes but that is it. We haven't even been to a store or anything like that.

Idk.. I guess I’m not understanding. How is her risk any higher with him than it is with you? Even with a spike in cases. Practice basic common sense and hygiene.

There are a lot of differences. Everyone in my house is able to stay home and quarentine. That is not the case at his house, both him and his roommate work with the general public. She will be at higher risk just spending time with him than she ever was at home.

So for the last 5 month neither you nor her went ANYWHERE?

[Deleted User 670]

if the court order says she goes and he calls the police when you refuse to make her, this could go either way. if he can prove she will be safe, she might have to go but if you can prove she won't be then it might go your way. this should have been addressed by both parents ahead of time and compromises made so that her father isn't excommunicated from seeing her. there can be a middle ground.

Cops usually don't want to get involved in custody orders. They usually say it's a civil matter, take it up with the courts. And she's 16 now; most judges (sane judges) will acknowledge that teens have lives and they have other stuff that may conflict with visitation and that they can decline visitation. They also acknowledge that given an antagonistic, neglectful or difficult relationship they can stop visitation too if they wish.

[Lotus]

Past a certain age most courts recognize the adolecent clause which allows the minor to choose whether OR not they want to go to a parents home. At some point they are just to busy with life, sports, homework, & work, to be spending nights away from home. This is no different. Honestly, I don't blame her.
Hopefully she told him in a very sincere and polite manner and explained her concerns/fears.

Of course he is disappointed and its possible depending on the delivery his feelings are hurt. I would be so dissapointed if my child had to cancel regardless of the reason.
Play nice with each other, best wishes.

[Anonymous 1]

I don't see any reason she can't go and spend time with her dad and do pretty much what I'm assuming she is doing with you and stay home. There is no need to go out and about at 15 years old.

I work from home. Her dad doesn't. Neither does his roommate. She is worried about getting exposed. She does not have the same options at his house as she does at mine. Even if they stayed home the whole time which isn't realistic.

Ridiculous excuse IMO.

How is wanting to keep herself safe ridiculous?

[Anonymous 4]

That's a shame. Is he aware of how she feels (about never texting her, etc.,)? I mean...one would think he should know enough to know she'd want to hear from him. But if she hasn't already told him how this makes her feel, I'd encourage her to. Poor kid.

My step daughter did the same thing at your DD's age. Many years after the fact, we learned it was because she couldn't stand me. Does your DD say why she doesn't want to see her father?

All she will say, is that he doesn't care about her because he doesn't call her or text her, but will call her brother. He hasn't talked to her but once since March. He still only wants to take them to do little kids things like the zoo or aquarium (When they are open). So according to her if he doesn't give a damn then she doesn't either.

When he did talk to her last, I know she was screaming at him about him not caring. I try to stay out of it. I tried for years to keep the relationship between him and the kids going. As the kids got older they saw what was going on and that's when I stepped back and let what was going to happen, happen. He blames me for "Turning the kids against him". He has every ability to contact them without even talking to me as they all have their own phones. So there is no excuses. He doesn't talk to the girls and will call my son to play minecraft with him over the switch a few times a week, but that is all they do together at this point.

[Inmybizz]

Since mid April you’ve only been out for walks?

We go on walks and a couple hikes but that is it. We haven't even been to a store or anything like that.

There are a lot of differences. Everyone in my house is able to stay home and quarentine. That is not the case at his house, both him and his roommate work with the general public. She will be at higher risk just spending time with him than she ever was at home.

So for the last 5 month neither you nor her went ANYWHERE?