DD is refusing to go to her dad's house

[Anonymous 1]

if the court order says she goes and he calls the police when you refuse to make her, this could go either way. if he can prove she will be safe, she might have to go but if you can prove she won't be then it might go your way. this should have been addressed by both parents ahead of time and compromises made so that her father isn't excommunicated from seeing her. there can be a middle ground.

The police don't get involved in custody issues. They will just say to take it to court. She is of age to refuse visitations so he can't really do anything. She wasn't saying she wasn't going to go before now so there was no way to communicate it before now. There is no real middle ground.

[Anonymous 1]

I don't see any reason she can't go and spend time with her dad and do pretty much what I'm assuming she is doing with you and stay home. There is no need to go out and about at 15 years old.

I work from home. Her dad doesn't. Neither does his roommate. She is worried about getting exposed. She does not have the same options at his house as she does at mine. Even if they stayed home the whole time which isn't realistic.

[Anonymous 1]

Idk.. I guess I’m not understanding. How is her risk any higher with him than it is with you? Even with a spike in cases. Practice basic common sense and hygiene.

There are a lot of differences. Everyone in my house is able to stay home and quarentine. That is not the case at his house, both him and his roommate work with the general public. She will be at higher risk just spending time with him than she ever was at home.

[stilltfez]

if the court order says she goes and he calls the police when you refuse to make her, this could go either way. if he can prove she will be safe, she might have to go but if you can prove she won't be then it might go your way. this should have been addressed by both parents ahead of time and compromises made so that her father isn't excommunicated from seeing her. there can be a middle ground.

The police don't get involved in custody issues. They will just say to take it to court. She is of age to refuse visitations so he can't really do anything. She wasn't saying she wasn't going to go before now so there was no way to communicate it before now. There is no real middle ground.

I guess all he can do is notify the court that you are refusing to allow him access to his child and hopefully it will all be settled in your child's best interests soon. I wish you all well.

[stilltfez]

if the court order says she goes and he calls the police when you refuse to make her, this could go either way. if he can prove she will be safe, she might have to go but if you can prove she won't be then it might go your way. this should have been addressed by both parents ahead of time and compromises made so that her father isn't excommunicated from seeing her. there can be a middle ground.

The police don't get involved in custody issues. They will just say to take it to court. She is of age to refuse visitations so he can't really do anything. She wasn't saying she wasn't going to go before now so there was no way to communicate it before now. There is no real middle ground.

I guess all he can do is notify the court that you are refusing to allow him access to his child and hopefully it will all be settled in your child's best interests soon. I wish you all well.

[Anonymous 1]

if the court order says she goes and he calls the police when you refuse to make her, this could go either way. if he can prove she will be safe, she might have to go but if you can prove she won't be then it might go your way. this should have been addressed by both parents ahead of time and compromises made so that her father isn't excommunicated from seeing her. there can be a middle ground.

The police don't get involved in custody issues. They will just say to take it to court. She is of age to refuse visitations so he can't really do anything. She wasn't saying she wasn't going to go before now so there was no way to communicate it before now. There is no real middle ground.

I guess all he can do is notify the court that you are refusing to allow him access to his child and hopefully it will all be settled in your child's best interests soon. I wish you all well.

I'm not refusing him access. If he comes he comes. I can't force her to go with him and that isn't my job anyway.

[famousglm714]

Well, it sucks for him, but it sounds like too much of a risk. This is an unprecedented situation, we can’t expect things to be normal, so we have to roll with the punches and just do what’s best. Maybe your daughter can make it up to him at a later date. But for now, I agree with her.

I agree with all of this. I wouldn’t go either. She’s old enough to decide imo.

[Momto2boys973]

And what benefit could that possibly have for anyone? This are tough times. We have to make some sacrifices. Dad could understand that maybe his wants should be put on hold for a while. So he takes it to court and his daughter- who only wants to avoid a risk to her health- is forced to go with him, and who gains anything from that? Not that I think any judge would force a 15 year old to go to a high risk area if she doesn’t want o.
It’s similar to the BM not letting her kids go to school. I understand her feelings and I would probably feel the same way, but she will just end up alienating her children and becoming the “bad guy”.

if the court order says she goes and he calls the police when you refuse to make her, this could go either way. if he can prove she will be safe, she might have to go but if you can prove she won't be then it might go your way. this should have been addressed by both parents ahead of time and compromises made so that her father isn't excommunicated from seeing her. there can be a middle ground.

[Anonymous 4]

My 14 year old DD, refuses to even TALK to her dad and he lives 2 miles away. He has tried to get her to go with him. That caused a scene. I stayed out of it. I told him she could go, but I wasn't dragging her out the door.

He told the court that I wasn't letting her go. I explained that they were more than welcome to go with him, but I wasn't going to drag them out kicking and screaming and I wasn't go to allow him too either. They told him that if she (or any of the kids) refuse to go by their own choice, that I was not forced to send them. The other 2 have never not wanted to go with him when and if he takes them, but DD 14 at this point will not even talk to him.

[Anonymous 3]

My step daughter did the same thing at your DD's age. Many years after the fact, we learned it was because she couldn't stand me. Does your DD say why she doesn't want to see her father?

My 14 year old DD, refuses to even TALK to her dad and he lives 2 miles away. He has tried to get her to go with him. That caused a scene. I stayed out of it. I told him she could go, but I wasn't dragging her out the door.

He told the court that I wasn't letting her go. I explained that they were more than welcome to go with him, but I wasn't going to drag them out kicking and screaming and I wasn't go to allow him too either. They told him that if she (or any of the kids) refuse to go by their own choice, that I was not forced to send them. The other 2 have never not wanted to go with him when and if he takes them, but DD 14 at this point will not even talk to him.