I had to fire two of my favorite employees

Traci_Momof2
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Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 6:27 pm
lauren08 wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 5:32 pm
Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 5:04 pm

I am saying that employers should never be allowed to dictate the S*x lives of their employees.

If a man wants to protect himself he can easily make a decision not to date his employees, that should be his choice.

But for a boss to tell their employees who they are allowed to sleep with and who they aren’t allowed to sleep with is sick.
I’m sorry, but that’s not the way it works in the US. You can have that opinion yourself, but that’s the policy, and when terms are agreed to, consequences ensue for violating those terms. Relationships in the workplace can lead to favoritism and conflicts of interest. A manager can give preference to a subordinate if he/she is romantically involved with the manager. How is that fair to the other employees? That policy is quite common in American workplaces... your personal feelings don’t change that reality.
Is this even a post about a boss dating an employee? Because it reads like this is about two employees dating.
OP never really clarified, but it doesn't really matter. These policies don't differentiate. It's for all employees, not just managers and their subordinates. The only differentiation I've seen is if it's two employees in two completely different departments. So if one is in Accounting/Finance and the other is in IT, then it's fine. But if they are both in Accounting/Finance, even if one is in the Tax Dept and the other is in Staff Accounting, then it's not fine. And I'm speaking from experience in the corporate workplace just to clarify.
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Frau Holle
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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:13 pm
Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 6:27 pm
lauren08 wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 5:32 pm

I’m sorry, but that’s not the way it works in the US. You can have that opinion yourself, but that’s the policy, and when terms are agreed to, consequences ensue for violating those terms. Relationships in the workplace can lead to favoritism and conflicts of interest. A manager can give preference to a subordinate if he/she is romantically involved with the manager. How is that fair to the other employees? That policy is quite common in American workplaces... your personal feelings don’t change that reality.
Is this even a post about a boss dating an employee? Because it reads like this is about two employees dating.
OP never really clarified, but it doesn't really matter. These policies don't differentiate. It's for all employees, not just managers and their subordinates. The only differentiation I've seen is if it's two employees in two completely different departments. So if one is in Accounting/Finance and the other is in IT, then it's fine. But if they are both in Accounting/Finance, even if one is in the Tax Dept and the other is in Staff Accounting, then it's not fine. And I'm speaking from experience in the corporate workplace just to clarify.

And that’s not creepy to you? That these company heads should have control over who their employees sleep with?

I can’t even imagine a bigger invasion of privacy.
“ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night “ - Sarah Williams
Traci_Momof2
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Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:22 pm
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:13 pm
Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 6:27 pm

Is this even a post about a boss dating an employee? Because it reads like this is about two employees dating.
OP never really clarified, but it doesn't really matter. These policies don't differentiate. It's for all employees, not just managers and their subordinates. The only differentiation I've seen is if it's two employees in two completely different departments. So if one is in Accounting/Finance and the other is in IT, then it's fine. But if they are both in Accounting/Finance, even if one is in the Tax Dept and the other is in Staff Accounting, then it's not fine. And I'm speaking from experience in the corporate workplace just to clarify.

And that’s not creepy to you? That these company heads should have control over who their employees sleep with?

I can’t even imagine a bigger invasion of privacy.
No it's not creepy because it's not control over who their employees sleep with. When I worked for a company with a policy like that, and I was married, I could've slept with anyone I wanted to EXCEPT for the 20 or so people in my department. I could've even had an affair against my husband with Joe Schmoe on the corner and my company would not have cared - as long as Joe Schmoe didn't work for the company in my same department.

It's the ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH COWORKERS that they care about. I could've gone to the company across the street and fucked every single guy in there in one night and my company would not have cared. But had I started a romantic relationship with my manager, now they care for good reason because now there is the very high potential for favoritism and special treatment and abuse of power. How is that so hard to understand?
Traci_Momof2
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Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:22 pm
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:13 pm
Frau Holle wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2020 6:27 pm

Is this even a post about a boss dating an employee? Because it reads like this is about two employees dating.
OP never really clarified, but it doesn't really matter. These policies don't differentiate. It's for all employees, not just managers and their subordinates. The only differentiation I've seen is if it's two employees in two completely different departments. So if one is in Accounting/Finance and the other is in IT, then it's fine. But if they are both in Accounting/Finance, even if one is in the Tax Dept and the other is in Staff Accounting, then it's not fine. And I'm speaking from experience in the corporate workplace just to clarify.

And that’s not creepy to you? That these company heads should have control over who their employees sleep with?

I can’t even imagine a bigger invasion of privacy.
I found some articles about office dating and company policy regarding such and found some key points. There are actually a lot of articles about it and many HR professionals and organizations strongly suggest that companies adopt some type of policy.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/ca ... 802194002/

"What is important is disclosure. While many workplace romances are perfectly acceptable, there are instances when intimate relationships are out of bounds. These include some relationships involving a significant imbalance of power (senior management person and a newly hired younger employee, for example).

Such circumstances could lead to real or perceived favoritism and the potential for intimidation, retaliation or sexual harassment claims. That’s why about one-half of companies have policies about office dating."



https://www.insperity.com/blog/does-you ... ng-policy/

"Just a few of the real-world difficulties caused by workplace romance that I’ve seen during my career include:

An HR manager knew about an upcoming layoff. Her partner, who worked in another department, knew nothing about it. The HR manager revealed this confidential information, violating an essential condition of her job and potentially undermining trust in the entire HR department.
Employees complained about feeling unable to have difficult conversations with their boss who was one member of a couple. Though the couple worked in different departments, employees felt that pillow talk was inevitable and they didn’t want their confidential information spreading through the company.
In a worst-case scenario, one couple let their relationship problems spill into the workplace and fought in front of coworkers."

"Here are a few common stipulations that companies include in an employee dating policy:

Workplace romances are discouraged.
If employees become involved, they cannot report to one another, cannot be of significantly different rank and cannot work in the same department.
Couples must keep it professional and not act like a couple at work. This means no PDA and certainly no fighting.
No sharing of confidential information."



These policies may not be commonplace in your culture, but they certainly are in the US. And I doubt they would be if there wasn't a real need for them. It's not like company officers and owners are sitting up at night wondering how they can dig into their employees' personal lives. They're sitting up at night wondering how to protect their company from lawsuits and other problems intrusive to productivity.
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