Is it wrong to ask a virtual stranger what they make?

[Anonymous 4]

When I was working, I often spoke of how much I liked my job and how good my employer treated me. I never found it odd when someone asked, "Do they pay well? How much do they start employees who hold X position?"

Were you offended because she asked how much you make? Or was it more that you were you offended because you think she assumed you didn't earn much or that she was questioning something else about your chosen profession?

[Valentina327]

While you aren't looking for a job, her sister is looking to hire for your job. I don't think it was that crazy for her to ask. You were on the topic, and she was probably looking for some kind of a general parameter as far as what to expect, a baseline to compare to what those her sister is interviewing are asking for, etc. It was kind of a general information question and was on topic. She probably didn't think it was offensive, given your conversation.

[Anonymous 5]

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get a cleaning. We were making small talk when I mentioned I was a nanny. She then asked how much I made because her sister needs a nanny.

Mind you I’m not looking for a job and I wasn’t complaining about mine.

I was taken aback by the comment.

I didn’t answer her and it seemed as if she realized it wasn’t such a hot idea to ask such a question and she started asking me other questions about being a nanny and I happily answered those questions and directed her to the agency that I went through.

To me her asking me what I made was akin to me walking up to a lawyer standing in line at the grocery store and asking how much they make, or asking the dental hygienist how much she makes while she’s cleaning my teeth.

I asked on a nanny group how they would have handled the situation and I was told by 99% that I was wrong to think she was out of line to ask and that I should have told her since it’s a good idea to ‘educate others on nannies’

One even told me that she tells her friends and family what she makes so it’s no big deal if a virtual stranger asks...when I tried explaining friends and family are different than a stranger she didn’t seem to comprehend what I was saying.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not pissed or think much more than wow! That was rude.

But I wonder what you guys think. Is it rude to ask a virtual stranger flat out how much they make? Would you freely tell people you meet out and about how much you make?

A lady never talks about income, politics, religion or S*x with company but especially with strangers.

[Anonymous 6]

I don't understand why you would be offended. You stated what you did, and she asked the next logical question. It was just a conversation.

[wildflowers25]

I find it tacky to ask people about how much money they make for any reason.

[jas]

She wasn't rude - she had a reason for the interest and explained what it was. You were rude for blowing her off.

[wildflowers25]

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get a cleaning. We were making small talk when I mentioned I was a nanny. She then asked how much I made because her sister needs a nanny.

Mind you I’m not looking for a job and I wasn’t complaining about mine.

I was taken aback by the comment.

I didn’t answer her and it seemed as if she realized it wasn’t such a hot idea to ask such a question and she started asking me other questions about being a nanny and I happily answered those questions and directed her to the agency that I went through.

To me her asking me what I made was akin to me walking up to a lawyer standing in line at the grocery store and asking how much they make, or asking the dental hygienist how much she makes while she’s cleaning my teeth.

I asked on a nanny group how they would have handled the situation and I was told by 99% that I was wrong to think she was out of line to ask and that I should have told her since it’s a good idea to ‘educate others on nannies’

One even told me that she tells her friends and family what she makes so it’s no big deal if a virtual stranger asks...when I tried explaining friends and family are different than a stranger she didn’t seem to comprehend what I was saying.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not pissed or think much more than wow! That was rude.

But I wonder what you guys think. Is it rude to ask a virtual stranger flat out how much they make? Would you freely tell people you meet out and about how much you make?

A lady never talks about income, politics, religion or S*x with company but especially with strangers.

Judging from a lot of replies here, that little bit of etiquette and common sense is fading fast.

[bluebunnybabe]

I think it’s wrong to ask, but I get why she did. It would have been better for her to ask around what nannies make in general, so that you could give a range.
I’m always surprised at how many people ask how much money I make, mostly customers. It would never occur to me to ask a cashier or my doctor how much they make.

[KendallsMom]

If she asked how much you charge as opposed to how much you make, would it had made a difference?

It would have to me.

It's all in the wording in this situation.

[Anonymous 7]

I can see why she asked given the context of your conversation, but IMO it was still inappropriate. I was taught that it's rude to ask someone what they make.