Is it wrong to ask a virtual stranger what they make?

[Anonymous 3]

You are making a huge deal out of this.
She wanted to know because her sister is needing a nanny.
I can't believe you would compare being a nanny to being an attorney.
Some people search for things to be offended over.
Thank God you found something.

[CandTmom]

I think in that context it wasn't rude.

[leadfoot40]

In this instance what she really wanted to know was average cost of a nanny because her sister wanted one. She just didn't word it well. So I'd give her a ballpark going rate. You could do that without discussing your actual salary.

[Inmybizz]

She was trying to get an idea of the cost of a nanny..I think you could have answered nanny salaries vary. If your sister is looking for a nanny the range is $ to $$$$ without giving your exact salary.

[Linda_Runs]

Not the best manners, but It was probably was innocent enough. People have asked me what I make — and I give them a range, the median, and sometimes if I know what a New grad recently started at, I throw that out there.

I think it can can also be culturally based too. In some cultures, it is not a personal question, in other it is. For people that work in structured and publicly defined professions, it is not hard to get close to their salary with an educated guess.

[Anonymous 4]

I think that if someone is considering entering the nanny business, it would be perfectly acceptable for them to ask, "In this area, do you know what the going average rate for a nanny is?"

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get a cleaning. We were making small talk when I mentioned I was a nanny. She then asked how much I made because her sister needs a nanny.

Mind you I’m not looking for a job and I wasn’t complaining about mine.

I was taken aback by the comment.

I didn’t answer her and it seemed as if she realized it wasn’t such a hot idea to ask such a question and she started asking me other questions about being a nanny and I happily answered those questions and directed her to the agency that I went through.

To me her asking me what I made was akin to me walking up to a lawyer standing in line at the grocery store and asking how much they make, or asking the dental hygienist how much she makes while she’s cleaning my teeth.

I asked on a nanny group how they would have handled the situation and I was told by 99% that I was wrong to think she was out of line to ask and that I should have told her since it’s a good idea to ‘educate others on nannies’

One even told me that she tells her friends and family what she makes so it’s no big deal if a virtual stranger asks...when I tried explaining friends and family are different than a stranger she didn’t seem to comprehend what I was saying.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not pissed or think much more than wow! That was rude.

But I wonder what you guys think. Is it rude to ask a virtual stranger flat out how much they make? Would you freely tell people you meet out and about how much you make?

[Linda_Runs]

I think that if someone is considering entering the nanny business, it would be perfectly acceptable for them to ask, "In this area, do you know what the going average rate for a nanny is?"

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get a cleaning. We were making small talk when I mentioned I was a nanny. She then asked how much I made because her sister needs a nanny.

Mind you I’m not looking for a job and I wasn’t complaining about mine.

I was taken aback by the comment.

I didn’t answer her and it seemed as if she realized it wasn’t such a hot idea to ask such a question and she started asking me other questions about being a nanny and I happily answered those questions and directed her to the agency that I went through.

To me her asking me what I made was akin to me walking up to a lawyer standing in line at the grocery store and asking how much they make, or asking the dental hygienist how much she makes while she’s cleaning my teeth.

I asked on a nanny group how they would have handled the situation and I was told by 99% that I was wrong to think she was out of line to ask and that I should have told her since it’s a good idea to ‘educate others on nannies’

One even told me that she tells her friends and family what she makes so it’s no big deal if a virtual stranger asks...when I tried explaining friends and family are different than a stranger she didn’t seem to comprehend what I was saying.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not pissed or think much more than wow! That was rude.

But I wonder what you guys think. Is it rude to ask a virtual stranger flat out how much they make? Would you freely tell people you meet out and about how much you make?

There are a number of services that need to have an idea of the potential client's income bracket to provide the service they need.

[MistressMonster]

In this instance what she really wanted to know was average cost of a nanny because her sister wanted one. She just didn't word it well. So I'd give her a ballpark going rate. You could do that without discussing your actual salary.

^^This right here.

[Deleted User 1393]

She isn't a virtual stranger. You were having a conversation. It wasn't rude of her to ask. You could have simply replied nannies generally make between xx and xxx. Simple straightforward and helpful

[Vegaswife2011]

In this instance what she really wanted to know was average cost of a nanny because her sister wanted one. She just didn't word it well. So I'd give her a ballpark going rate. You could do that without discussing your actual salary.

Yep!