My estranged father is dying....

[carterscutie85]

My Dad passed away last September and he wasn't perfect either. Neither of my parents were stellar people but he did teach me a lot and I learned a lot from watching him. He always tried to help when he could but for most of his life he was an alcoholic which caused a lot of issues. Regardless I still loved him, that was my Dad and I miss him.

[Anonymous 7]

I could always relate to your story and how you feel about your father. HUG to you, Carters.

My Dad passed away last September and he wasn't perfect either. Neither of my parents were stellar people but he did teach me a lot and I learned a lot from watching him. He always tried to help when he could but for most of his life he was an alcoholic which caused a lot of issues. Regardless I still loved him, that was my Dad and I miss him.

[Anonymous 8]

If you don't want to see him life why would you even think about seeing him in death?
You ended that relationship a long time ago, don't rekindle it

[Deleted User 638]

You have no obligation to the man. He wasn't a real father. If it were me, I wouldn't contact him. Don't let him do more damage to you.

[Anonymous 7]

I do happen to agree with this.

When I talk to my kiddo about what I want to happen when I pass away, I have often said that I don't want people at my funeral that weren't present when I was living. I don't know why a person who has stayed away would even want to attend a funeral of a person he/she was estranged from. (And I know that it is said that people attend funerals to support the living survivors; but if both the deceased AND the living survivors don't have a relationship with you, you have no business being present.)

If you don't want to see him life why would you even think about seeing him in death?
You ended that relationship a long time ago, don't rekindle it

[Anonymous 1]

I do happen to agree with this.

When I talk to my kiddo about what I want to happen when I pass away, I have often said that I don't want people at my funeral that weren't present when I was living. I don't know why a person who has stayed away would even want to attend a funeral of a person he/she was estranged from. (And I know that it is said that people attend funerals to support the living survivors; but if both the deceased AND the living survivors don't have a relationship with you, you have no business being present.)

If you don't want to see him life why would you even think about seeing him in death?
You ended that relationship a long time ago, don't rekindle it

The funeral is not in question. That's already been discussed between my brothers and me a long time ago.

This post was about dealing with the emotions surrounding the terminal illness of an abusive parent.

[Anonymous 7]

With respect to dealing with those feelings, I think that whatever you want to do is what you should do. You deserve peace.

I do happen to agree with this.

When I talk to my kiddo about what I want to happen when I pass away, I have often said that I don't want people at my funeral that weren't present when I was living. I don't know why a person who has stayed away would even want to attend a funeral of a person he/she was estranged from. (And I know that it is said that people attend funerals to support the living survivors; but if both the deceased AND the living survivors don't have a relationship with you, you have no business being present.)

If you don't want to see him life why would you even think about seeing him in death?
You ended that relationship a long time ago, don't rekindle it

The funeral is not in question. That's already been discussed between my brothers and me a long time ago.

This post was about dealing with the emotions surrounding the terminal illness of an abusive parent.