I need some help saying something tactful

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LiveWhatULove
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I am always honored when people tell me they are actually going to use my children's names. I tell people it makes me feel all warm & fuzzy to think people associate one of my children with happy, blessed thoughts (or at least not bad thoughts, HAHA), and feel comfortable having a name association to our family.
QuantumNursing
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Baconqueen13 wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:21 pm You kind of contradict yourself in the post saying the only issue is the middle name is the same as your daughter's and then saying it's not an issue, it's the mom's worrying about it being the issue. Tell her you're honored your kids will have the same middle name. And leave it at that if it truly isn't an issue, Not just that you love it, but you're honored. Or if it truly bothers you then be honest.
Niece is the one making the issue and I would hate to say I was honored by this because I truly believe that in some past history of Catholicism you were stoned to death of you didn’t your daughter this. Just kidding....Kinda. That seems really arrogant. I just want to enjoy her friendship and special time without me hurting her feelings.
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QuantumNursing wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:27 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:21 pm You kind of contradict yourself in the post saying the only issue is the middle name is the same as your daughter's and then saying it's not an issue, it's the mom's worrying about it being the issue. Tell her you're honored your kids will have the same middle name. And leave it at that if it truly isn't an issue, Not just that you love it, but you're honored. Or if it truly bothers you then be honest.
Niece is the one making the issue and I would hate to say I was honored by this because I truly believe that in some past history of Catholicism you were stoned to death of you didn’t your daughter this. Just kidding....Kinda. That seems really arrogant. I just want to enjoy her friendship and special time without me hurting her feelings.
She's young, she's worried and paranoid about what others thing. It's a generational thing, looking for constant approval. Language matters in this case. She sees you saying you love the name like she sees someone saying they love that dress on her, it could be hideous but you don't want to burst her bubble. It feels like a brush off. The "As long as you're happy" is also a brush off. Choosing a word like honored conveys that you truly have no issue with the name and will put her mind at ease while simultaneously making her feel you're just as excited about it as she is, even if you could care less either way.
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Baconqueen13 wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:35 pm
QuantumNursing wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:27 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:21 pm You kind of contradict yourself in the post saying the only issue is the middle name is the same as your daughter's and then saying it's not an issue, it's the mom's worrying about it being the issue. Tell her you're honored your kids will have the same middle name. And leave it at that if it truly isn't an issue, Not just that you love it, but you're honored. Or if it truly bothers you then be honest.
Niece is the one making the issue and I would hate to say I was honored by this because I truly believe that in some past history of Catholicism you were stoned to death of you didn’t your daughter this. Just kidding....Kinda. That seems really arrogant. I just want to enjoy her friendship and special time without me hurting her feelings.
She's young, she's worried and paranoid about what others thing. It's a generational thing, looking for constant approval. Language matters in this case. She sees you saying you love the name like she sees someone saying they love that dress on her, it could be hideous but you don't want to burst her bubble. It feels like a brush off. The "As long as you're happy" is also a brush off. Choosing a word like honored conveys that you truly have no issue with the name and will put her mind at ease while simultaneously making her feel you're just as excited about it as she is, even if you could care less either way.
That makes a lot of sense. I’m just worried about coming across as being arrogant but you do make a lot of sense. Thank you
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QuantumNursing wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:19 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:13 pm I would just let it be. Just keep assuring her that you really don't mind and she'll move on with time. No need to make a thing and have a confrontation about it, once the baby is born she'll be too busy and distracted and will move on.
You are truly delusional. You have been on this board long enough to know that’s not how I work. Especially when I’m not the one ever bringing it up and you know we have words ourselves and you know I don’t work that way. You know I say it the way it is
I was offering honest advice and didn't say anything to insult you. I don't know "how you work", I don't take a personal interest in watching how you respond to things, I was just suggesting how I would deal with it in a way that won't be upsetting to your niece. I don't know why you feel a need to name call and insult me when I said nothing offensive to you in this post, but I will just assume it's whatever stress you're under and will let it be.
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QuantumNursing wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:19 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:13 pm I would just let it be. Just keep assuring her that you really don't mind and she'll move on with time. No need to make a thing and have a confrontation about it, once the baby is born she'll be too busy and distracted and will move on.
You are truly delusional. You have been on this board long enough to know that’s not how I work. Especially when I’m not the one ever bringing it up and you know we have words ourselves and you know I don’t work that way. You know I say it the way it is
What's up your butt? That was completely unnecessary.
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Hey, you’ve got great taste in names (wink) how can I find any fault in that?

It’s my go to.
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QuantumNursing wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:19 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:13 pm I would just let it be. Just keep assuring her that you really don't mind and she'll move on with time. No need to make a thing and have a confrontation about it, once the baby is born she'll be too busy and distracted and will move on.
You are truly delusional. You have been on this board long enough to know that’s not how I work. Especially when I’m not the one ever bringing it up and you know we have words ourselves and you know I don’t work that way. You know I say it the way it is
Overreact much?
Damn.🥴
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stilltfez wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:14 pm If she mentions it again try something like "I think you are amazing for thinking of my feelings right now so let me tell you how much I love you and that it is not and never will be the tiniest of hiccups for me. I'm beyond giddy about your baby coming, ..." then change the subject to her plans for nursery, etc.
That's perfect I think. And you could possibly say something about how beautiful the name is, that's why you chose it, and that her baby will be even more special to you because of the shared name.

Congratulations to her, to you great auntie and your whole family! 🎉🎉🎉
Let's Go Brandon!
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LuckyEightWow wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:47 pm Hey, you’ve got great taste in names (wink) how can I find any fault in that?

It’s my go to.
That's cute!
Let's Go Brandon!
#FJB

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