S/O Ungrateful Gifts

[Anonymous 4]

Good grief...
Yes, you're wrong!

[Anonymous 5]

I know what my kids want and I need to not have crap they won't use cluttering my home.
The last thing to get on my older three kids list is as followed:
Pajamas
Slippers
Wireless headphones
Gym membership for ds15
12 W shoes for ds15
D&D board/map and starter pack for ds14
12 W boots for ds14
5.5 W boots for ds12

Little ones
Anything:
PJ masks
Paw Patrol
Octonaunts
Wall-E (surprisingly)
Wire headphones

I made it clear, unless you are giving them GC to Amazon, Google or Walmart stick to the list. Before someone asks about books... my kids get between five to 10 books each every Christmas and everyone already has bikes/scooters.

Why is the list so hard for people? I have everything ready for buy on Monday. For the last month the list hasn't changed and yet, family seems to have an issue with what to give the older kids.

Am I wrong with telling people to stick to the list?

I've found that keeping a an online xmas wish lists for each person works best for our family. When someone buys something off of the list then we email the parent so they can remove it or put a strike-through the items or items.

[Anonymous 1]

It might not sound nice that she says that unwanted items become clutter. But isn't it true? The giver should want to give something that the recipient will use. You don't have to buy precisely what was on the list. But if you don't buy something that you factually know the kid will like, it will most definitely become part of the clutter pile.

That said, I do hear what you're saying. If someone told me, "Buy these SPECIFIC items or buy nothing," I'd probably end up buying nothing.

Yeah, that's rude. If someone asked me what my kids want, I could give them some ideas, but otherwise, I would never make a list and tell people they have to follow it, especially when most of the things on your older kids list are quite expensive. And if someone told me that I had to stick to a list when buying a gift for their child, I'd be giving them the side-eye. Your whole outlook that anything not on your list is "crap cluttering your home" is off-putting.

[Olioxenfree]

Why is something not on the list automatically unwanted? It's that attitude that there's no way her children could find joy in anything that is not on that list that just sounds spoiled and ungrateful.

It might not sound nice that she says that unwanted items become clutter. But isn't it true? The giver should want to give something that the recipient will use. You don't have to buy precisely what was on the list. But if you don't buy something that you factually know the kid will like, it will most definitely become part of the clutter pile.

That said, I do hear what you're saying. If someone told me, "Buy these SPECIFIC items or buy nothing," I'd probably end up buying nothing.

Yeah, that's rude. If someone asked me what my kids want, I could give them some ideas, but otherwise, I would never make a list and tell people they have to follow it, especially when most of the things on your older kids list are quite expensive. And if someone told me that I had to stick to a list when buying a gift for their child, I'd be giving them the side-eye. Your whole outlook that anything not on your list is "crap cluttering your home" is off-putting.

[Anonymous 6]

I always thought it was rude to specifically state you should get a person's kids this exactly. My kids have gotten plenty of things they didn't like or need. It's easy enough to return them.

[Anonymous 7]

I think it's rude to tell people what to buy unless they ask. Part of the joy of Christmas is buying what you want to buy. If you were my family member I would ignore your asshole requests even to the point that I would consider buying your kids nothing at all.

[Anonymous 1]

I think that items not on the list aren't automatically unwanted. They just might turn out to be unwanted and land in the clutter pile. To increase the likelihood that the kid might like what I get them, I would try to stick to the IDEAS mentioned to me. That's not to say that every gift that ISN'T on the list would be disliked, though.

Why is something not on the list automatically unwanted? It's that attitude that there's no way her children could find joy in anything that is not on that list that just sounds spoiled and ungrateful.

It might not sound nice that she says that unwanted items become clutter. But isn't it true? The giver should want to give something that the recipient will use. You don't have to buy precisely what was on the list. But if you don't buy something that you factually know the kid will like, it will most definitely become part of the clutter pile.

That said, I do hear what you're saying. If someone told me, "Buy these SPECIFIC items or buy nothing," I'd probably end up buying nothing.

Yeah, that's rude. If someone asked me what my kids want, I could give them some ideas, but otherwise, I would never make a list and tell people they have to follow it, especially when most of the things on your older kids list are quite expensive. And if someone told me that I had to stick to a list when buying a gift for their child, I'd be giving them the side-eye. Your whole outlook that anything not on your list is "crap cluttering your home" is off-putting.

[Inmybizz]

I don’t put stipulations of gift giving. Some of the best gifts have been the gifts that weren’t on the list.

If that’s what you need to do I don’t have a problem with making that request, however I would get upset if some didn’t follow it.

[Anonymous 8]

We have been asked over the years what to get our kids for xmas....we have given suggestions when asked, but they don't always get them anything from the list and/or they end up getting the wrong thing. Even when I have copy and pasted the link to the exact item, it will be wrong sometimes for some reason. Oh well. It can be annoying, but it's the thought that counts and I don't act annoyed about it...we either keep it or return it if we are able or we donate it.

I had a SIL (ex now) that was very specific and only would tell me one thing for each kid that they must have. She was very controlling and I was not "allowed" to buy anything else for them. That just rubbed me the wrong way...like why can't I buy what I want for my nieces and nephews?

[Olioxenfree]

That seems to be the attitude that the OP has. If it's not on the list, don't bother. I've never made lists for my kids and don't have piles of clutter everywhere. People give us what they want to give us, we say thank you and show interest, give it some time, and if it's something the kids use, we keep it, if it doesn't get a lot of use and won't in the future, we rehome it. Our kids each have their own bin for toys and if the bin gets full, they have to choose some things to rehome before they add new things to it.

I think that items not on the list aren't automatically unwanted. They just might turn out to be unwanted and land in the clutter pile. To increase the likelihood that the kid might like what I get them, I would try to stick to the IDEAS mentioned to me. That's not to say that every gift that ISN'T on the list would be disliked, though.

Why is something not on the list automatically unwanted? It's that attitude that there's no way her children could find joy in anything that is not on that list that just sounds spoiled and ungrateful.

It might not sound nice that she says that unwanted items become clutter. But isn't it true? The giver should want to give something that the recipient will use. You don't have to buy precisely what was on the list. But if you don't buy something that you factually know the kid will like, it will most definitely become part of the clutter pile.

That said, I do hear what you're saying. If someone told me, "Buy these SPECIFIC items or buy nothing," I'd probably end up buying nothing.