I'm done

RealisticBeauty
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I am no longer attending my SO family events. His ex wife shows up at everything and for the last few years I either didn't go because I wasn't interested or I went and dealt with it. I get why some ex still attend events but now I feel like she is going overboard. His niece had a 1st birthday party for her kid yesterday and sure enough his ex wife was there when we arrive. She is always super early so no matter what time we get to any event, she is already there. I hate that I can never get comfortable because she is always watching me, him or our son. And she goes out of her way to keep a conversation going with me. Since their kids are grown we were certain that this would be the 1 event that she would not attend but nope. My SO said she doesn't understand social boundaries so expect her to be at everything. GREAT so his ex is exactly like him. They are all odd and I will be skipping the Christmas dinner. His mom never made it into town for Halloween so she wants to meet me and our son for the first time at Christmas dinner. His sister is hosting it and she said all of the grandkids will be there so that means his ex will likely be there with their grown kids. The dinner will be way too intimate for me so I'm skipping it. I don't feel comfortable sitting at a table and discussing my life in front of his ex.
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carterscutie85
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Is she being invited to these events? If so she has every right to show up as the host or hostess must like her enough to extend an invite. If she is just showing up cause she heard about it but wasn't invited that's crossing a line and is rude.
RealisticBeauty
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carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:00 am Is she being invited to these events? If so she has every right to show up as the host or hostess must like her enough to extend an invite. If she is just showing up cause she heard about it but wasn't invited that's crossing a line and is rude.
His sister invites her because she loves to keep the "family" together but you would think that his ex would have enough common sense to not show up at literally every event. What grown woman spends her Saturday at a 1 year old birthday party? Her kids are adults so that is the 1 event that we thought we would not have to look at her.
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carterscutie85
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RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:07 am
carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:00 am Is she being invited to these events? If so she has every right to show up as the host or hostess must like her enough to extend an invite. If she is just showing up cause she heard about it but wasn't invited that's crossing a line and is rude.
His sister invites her because she loves to keep the "family" together but you would think that his ex would have enough common sense to not show up at literally every event. What grown woman spends her Saturday at a 1 year old birthday party? Her kids are adults so that is the 1 event that we thought we would not have to look at her.

Yeah that is weird. If I didn't have kids I would not want to go to a kids party unless maybe I was really close to said child.
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Your life is so trashy.
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MrsDavidB
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I would be done also. I would have no interest spending my holidays with my husband's exwife. And it is clear they like her way more than you since they keep inviting her and not accepting you as the only woman in his life now. Since his mom is coming to town invite her over the day after Christmas for brunch.
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RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:07 am
carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:00 am Is she being invited to these events? If so she has every right to show up as the host or hostess must like her enough to extend an invite. If she is just showing up cause she heard about it but wasn't invited that's crossing a line and is rude.
His sister invites her because she loves to keep the "family" together but you would think that his ex would have enough common sense to not show up at literally every event. What grown woman spends her Saturday at a 1 year old birthday party? Her kids are adults so that is the 1 event that we thought we would not have to look at her.
She shows up because they're her family. Just because they're divorced doesn't change her feelings about his relatives or their feeling about her. Her children are blood related to these people. Whether you like it or not, those are the facts.

Why do you think it's odd that she shows up for a birthday party? Why would "common sense" tell her not to go where she's invited? What?

That's what normal people do - They go to events that they're invited to in order to visit with people they like. It doesn't matter who the party is for. People that she cares for will be gathered there to socialize with. You really make no sense what so ever.
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carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:10 am
RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:07 am
carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:00 am Is she being invited to these events? If so she has every right to show up as the host or hostess must like her enough to extend an invite. If she is just showing up cause she heard about it but wasn't invited that's crossing a line and is rude.
His sister invites her because she loves to keep the "family" together but you would think that his ex would have enough common sense to not show up at literally every event. What grown woman spends her Saturday at a 1 year old birthday party? Her kids are adults so that is the 1 event that we thought we would not have to look at her.

Yeah that is weird. If I didn't have kids I would not want to go to a kids party unless maybe I was really close to said child.
I don't know how parties are where you're from, but usually when there's a party there's a host of other relatives there to see and mingle with. We don't typically just interact with the 1 year old only. It's not a party of 12 one year olds and no other adults. It's a family party. We hang out and talk and all catch up. I don't understand what's "weird" about it.
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carterscutie85
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Anonymous 2 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:21 am
RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:07 am
carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:00 am Is she being invited to these events? If so she has every right to show up as the host or hostess must like her enough to extend an invite. If she is just showing up cause she heard about it but wasn't invited that's crossing a line and is rude.
His sister invites her because she loves to keep the "family" together but you would think that his ex would have enough common sense to not show up at literally every event. What grown woman spends her Saturday at a 1 year old birthday party? Her kids are adults so that is the 1 event that we thought we would not have to look at her.
She shows up because they're her family. Just because they're divorced doesn't change her feelings about his relatives or their feeling about her. Her children are blood related to these people. Whether you like it or not, those are the facts.

Why do you think it's odd that she shows up for a birthday party? Why would "common sense" tell her not to go where she's invited? What?

That's what normal people do - They go to events that they're invited to in order to visit with people they like. It doesn't matter who the party is for. People that she cares for will be gathered there to socialize with. You really make no sense what so ever.

You don't have to go to things you are invited to. It's perfectly OK to decline for whatever reason. There have been a couple family things we couldn't make it to for various reasons, one being that we didn't want to go and that's perfectly acceptable.
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carterscutie85
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Anonymous 2 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:26 am
carterscutie85 wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:10 am
RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:07 am

His sister invites her because she loves to keep the "family" together but you would think that his ex would have enough common sense to not show up at literally every event. What grown woman spends her Saturday at a 1 year old birthday party? Her kids are adults so that is the 1 event that we thought we would not have to look at her.

Yeah that is weird. If I didn't have kids I would not want to go to a kids party unless maybe I was really close to said child.
I don't know how parties are where you're from, but usually when there's a party there's a host of other relatives there to see and mingle with. We don't typically just interact with the 1 year old only. It's not a party of 12 one year olds and no other adults. It's a family party. We hang out and talk and all catch up. I don't understand what's "weird" about it.


Typically at a kid's party, you are inviting kids and their parents. I don't know those kids or their parents so it would be awkward for me. Before I had kids I wouldn't have enjoyed going even if extended family was there. Family parties like xmas parties sure but not something geared to kids with a bunch of kid games, etc.
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