BM wants SS to pay her back all the money she gave him for school

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SS changed his major. BM does not approve. SS is going for a degree in psychology. He wants to get his PhD. BM thinks it is a waste of time and that if he is going to spend all that time going to school he should be a "real doctor". He took a psychology class for one of his GED ED classes and loved it so he took a couple more. He says it is his passion. He wanted to ignore it because he knows the level of schooling there is, but he cant. He loves psychology.

His previous major was accounting. He has always been good with numbers but he did not like any of the accounting classes. Not all of his credits will transfer to the psychology degree because the programs are so different.

BM set up a college fund which he has been using. She is saying that he is wasting her money and he should pay her back. He is standing up for himself and telling her no. That the money is now his and she doesnt have control over it. He has explained to her why he made the switch and what his goals and plans are.

DH thinks it comes down to the fact that BM thinks psychologists are quacks who just make stuff up. It is sad for SS because he is really excited about making this change and now BM is trying to bring him down.

ETA: This is a college fund that was set up for SS when he was a young child. BM is not currently adding to it. She is also not the only one who ever added to it. The funds can only be used for school.
Olioxenfree
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He has the right to go for whatever major he wishes. She has the right to not pay for it.
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Olioxenfree wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 pm
He has the right to go for whatever major he wishes. She has the right to not pay for it.
She can decide to not give him more money, but she cant tell him how to spend his college fund.
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Olioxenfree wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 pm
He has the right to go for whatever major he wishes. She has the right to not pay for it.
BM cant take away the money in his college fund, she can only refuse to give him more
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Valentina327
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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:36 pm
Olioxenfree wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 pm
He has the right to go for whatever major he wishes. She has the right to not pay for it.
She can decide to not give him more money, but she cant tell him how to spend his college fund.

There's no law that she has to pay for any schooling. She can do whatever she wants going forward, if it's her money in his college fund. She's investing in his future and she's allowed to not put her money into something she doesn't think is a worthwhile investment.
Anonymous 3

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I would never have put money in an account for the kid to use. I'd "pay as he goes" and keep control of the money myself.
Anonymous 1

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Valentina327 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:43 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:36 pm
Olioxenfree wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 pm
He has the right to go for whatever major he wishes. She has the right to not pay for it.
She can decide to not give him more money, but she cant tell him how to spend his college fund.

There's no law that she has to pay for any schooling. She can do whatever she wants going forward, if it's her money in his college fund. She's investing in his future and she's allowed to not put her money into something she doesn't think is a worthwhile investment.
She isn't giving him more money. She hasn't put money into his account for years now. She wants him to pay her back for the money she already put into the fund.
Anonymous 3

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I agree with you, Valentina. But I hope this mom didn't turn over those funds to her son. The way the post is written, it certainly sounds like that's what she did.
Valentina327 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:43 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:36 pm
Olioxenfree wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 pm
He has the right to go for whatever major he wishes. She has the right to not pay for it.
She can decide to not give him more money, but she cant tell him how to spend his college fund.

There's no law that she has to pay for any schooling. She can do whatever she wants going forward, if it's her money in his college fund. She's investing in his future and she's allowed to not put her money into something she doesn't think is a worthwhile investment.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 3 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:46 pm
I agree with you, Valentina. But I hope this mom didn't turn over those funds to her son. The way the post is written, it certainly sounds like that she did turn the funds over to him.
Valentina327 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:43 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:36 pm


She can decide to not give him more money, but she cant tell him how to spend his college fund.

There's no law that she has to pay for any schooling. She can do whatever she wants going forward, if it's her money in his college fund. She's investing in his future and she's allowed to not put her money into something she doesn't think is a worthwhile investment.
He is the one with access to the college fund. He could use it as soon as he turned 18. The money can only be used towards school. BM was not the only one who put money into the fund.
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Vegaswife2011
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That’s a shame she isn’t supportive.
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