My older brother is a jerk and his wife is a shrew....

Anonymous 8

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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:48 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:22 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm


They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
The only jerk and shrew in this situation is you. Why in the hell are you trying to manage other adult's relationship? Also, how rude can you be to manipulate someone to invite people to their home when it's obvious they didn't want too.
So lying is just fine?
Are you his mommy? It's none of your business why they don't want to go or what they tell her. They are adults and can choose not to attend any event they want. Again mind your business and stop creating drama.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 8 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:05 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:48 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:22 pm


The only jerk and shrew in this situation is you. Why in the hell are you trying to manage other adult's relationship? Also, how rude can you be to manipulate someone to invite people to their home when it's obvious they didn't want too.
So lying is just fine?
Are you his mommy? It's none of your business why they don't want to go or what they tell her. They are adults and can choose not to attend any event they want. Again mind your business and stop creating drama.
I’m not my older brother’s biggest fan, but when he was unemployed for 4 years I sent him $1500 every holiday to buy presents for his kids.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 5 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:45 pm
It looks like grandma made her bed and can lie in it. Your brother is under no obligation to go out of his way for someone who treated him like crap.
Seriously? She treated me like crap, not him. And whatever happened in the past, she’s 94 years old. She’s going to die sooner rather than later.

My 70 year old mother called her EVERY DAY until my mother died. She’s hurting. My brother is an ass hole.
Anonymous 7

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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:24 pm
Anonymous 8 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:05 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:48 pm


So lying is just fine?
Are you his mommy? It's none of your business why they don't want to go or what they tell her. They are adults and can choose not to attend any event they want. Again mind your business and stop creating drama.
I’m not my older brother’s biggest fan, but when he was unemployed for 4 years I sent him $1500 every holiday to buy presents for his kids.
Why the f**k does that matter? Its still not your place to manage his relationships. This is absolutely none of your business.
Anonymous 7

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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:28 pm
Anonymous 5 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:45 pm
It looks like grandma made her bed and can lie in it. Your brother is under no obligation to go out of his way for someone who treated him like crap.
Seriously? She treated me like crap, not him. And whatever happened in the past, she’s 94 years old. She’s going to die sooner rather than later.

My 70 year old mother called her EVERY DAY until my mother died. She’s hurting. My brother is an ass hole.
Your relationship with her has absolutely nothing to do with her relationship with him. You are not one and the same. You admitted you were no contact with her for over a decade. You have no idea what their relationship was. The fact that your brother moved without telling her is very informative. Even more informative is that she sent back the presents that he spent time,effort and money UNOPENED. Granny should have thought about her dying before pulling such a stunt.Their relationship is toxic as hell and you are interfering and judgemental and down right rude. This has nothing to do with you so mind your business
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 7 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:37 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:28 pm
Anonymous 5 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:45 pm
It looks like grandma made her bed and can lie in it. Your brother is under no obligation to go out of his way for someone who treated him like crap.
Seriously? She treated me like crap, not him. And whatever happened in the past, she’s 94 years old. She’s going to die sooner rather than later.

My 70 year old mother called her EVERY DAY until my mother died. She’s hurting. My brother is an ass hole.
Your relationship with her has absolutely nothing to do with her relationship with him. You are not one and the same. You admitted you were no contact with her for over a decade. You have no idea what their relationship was. The fact that your brother moved without telling her is very informative. Even more informative is that she sent back the presents that he spent time,effort and money UNOPENED. Granny should have thought about her dying before pulling such a stunt.Their relationship is toxic as hell and you are interfering and judgemental and down right rude. This has nothing to do with you so mind your business
Once again, they are willing to see her. It’s not that she’s on Santa’s naughty list. They just had a better invite.

I certainly would have preferred to not fly on the busiest travel day of the year. But once again, my brother is just an asshole.
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Inmybizz
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Ok
Anonymous 9

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Mind your own business. I'd cut someone as toxic as you and your grandma out of my life entirely.
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Ok
People are allowed to make choices you don’t like
And are under no obligation to do anything except what they want to do

Also you don’t have to like their choices.
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Anonymous 4 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:46 pm
My brother & I were talking this afternoon & I said something that set him off. He bitched & ended the conversation, I came home. As I was walking in the door (less than 10 minute drive from his house to mine) he called & apologized. I apologized for getting him worked up with the topic I brought up.

Because we're adults.
Where’s the fun in that?!
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