My older brother is a jerk and his wife is a shrew....

Anonymous 1

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madfoodie wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
Are you going to say why?
They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm
madfoodie wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
Are you going to say why?
They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
Y'all sound like drama.
The oranges of the island are like blazing fire
Amongst the emerald boughs
And the lemons are like the paleness of a lover
Who has spent the night crying.


My soul was ripped to shreds on 10/27/14
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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm
madfoodie wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
Are you going to say why?
They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
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Anonymous 1

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Sassy762 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:12 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm
madfoodie wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
Are you going to say why?
They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
Yes it’s drama, but completely unnecessary.
Anonymous 5

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It looks like grandma made her bed and can lie in it. Your brother is under no obligation to go out of his way for someone who treated him like crap.
Anonymous 6

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She's probably a shrew because she found out the hard way that he's a jerk.
Anonymous 7

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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm
madfoodie wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
Are you going to say why?
They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
The only jerk and shrew in this situation is you. Why in the hell are you trying to manage other adult's relationship? Also, how rude can you be to manipulate someone to invite people to their home when it's obvious they didn't want too.
Anonymous 8

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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:25 pm
Sassy762 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:12 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm


They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
Yes it’s drama, but completely unnecessary.
So you figured it out then? Minding your own business is the way to avoid drama. Glad you figured it out.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 7 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:22 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm
madfoodie wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
Are you going to say why?
They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
The only jerk and shrew in this situation is you. Why in the hell are you trying to manage other adult's relationship? Also, how rude can you be to manipulate someone to invite people to their home when it's obvious they didn't want too.
So lying is just fine?
Anonymous 7

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Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:48 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:22 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:23 pm


They live 90 minutes driving distance from my 94 year old grandmother and were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her and my family. They haven’t seen her since the last time we were there, and she lost one of her children (my mother) in May. They made other plans.

We live 3 1/2 hours from her by plane. We visited in July, we are going for Thanksgiving, and we might actually return for a few days in January. It’s expensive, a pain in the ass, etc etc to do it, but she still lives independently (she’s in a 55+ community, but in independent living housing). My older brother has some lame excuse for why she is toxic, but she didn’t actually speak to me from 12-24 and I can get past it. She’s not actually toxic, but she was certainly the queen of backhanded compliments until she was 80/85. She treated my older brother like a king until he moved thousands of miles away without telling her years ago. He was then offended when she returned the Christmas gifts he sent that year to “sender” without opening them.

They are coming to see her on a different day when my family is there, so it genuinely is them and not her. And my SIL lied directly to me saying that they were hosting at their house and my grandmother was certainly welcome (but she didn’t think my grandmother would be up for it). My brother unintentionally busted her because I asked him to call and invite grandma directly.

So yeah, jerk and shrew.
The only jerk and shrew in this situation is you. Why in the hell are you trying to manage other adult's relationship? Also, how rude can you be to manipulate someone to invite people to their home when it's obvious they didn't want too.
So lying is just fine?
Lying to who? You? Absolutely . Did you want to hear mind your own F***ing business and stay out of ours........ Your grandmother acted like an absolute twat because she wasn't told something (not getting her way) and acted passively aggressively by sending the gifts back unopened. Yea your grandmother is a mess of toxicity
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