Have you ever stopped your child from turning in homework or assignments?

KaiandKadensMama
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My DD likes me to look over any big projects, and let her know if things should be tweaked. If she’s good, she doesn’t come to me.
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Linda_Runs
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Anonymous 5 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:58 am No I don't. They turn in what they turn in and can face the consequences of a bad grade. I guess your way works if you plan to be up your daughter's ass the rest of her life.
I respectfully disagree. As a parent we need to parent where part of that is getting on their asses about things until they figure it out for themselves. That goes for homework, that creates good life long study habits, as does getting on them about things of morality and common sense. Your's is a parenting style, but I prefer mine which is popular. Kids need rules and enforcement of them. Deep down they want it.
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No, I haven't
Anonymous 4

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Linda_Runs wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:03 am
Anonymous 5 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:58 am No I don't. They turn in what they turn in and can face the consequences of a bad grade. I guess your way works if you plan to be up your daughter's ass the rest of her life.
I respectfully disagree. As a parent we need to parent where part of that is getting on their asses about things until they figure it out for themselves. That goes for homework, that creates good life long study habits, as does getting on them about things of morality and common sense. Your's is a parenting style, but I prefer mine which is popular. Kids need rules and enforcement of them. Deep down they want it.
By 14 yrs old the life long study habits should have already been instituted into the child's life.
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Anonymous 4 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:27 am
Linda_Runs wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:03 am
Anonymous 5 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:58 am No I don't. They turn in what they turn in and can face the consequences of a bad grade. I guess your way works if you plan to be up your daughter's ass the rest of her life.
I respectfully disagree. As a parent we need to parent where part of that is getting on their asses about things until they figure it out for themselves. That goes for homework, that creates good life long study habits, as does getting on them about things of morality and common sense. Your's is a parenting style, but I prefer mine which is popular. Kids need rules and enforcement of them. Deep down they want it.
By 14 yrs old the life long study habits should have already been instituted into the child's life.
Teach in a middle school. You’ll find that to be VERY untrue.
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Anonymous 8 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:55 am
Anonymous 4 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:27 am
Linda_Runs wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:03 am

I respectfully disagree. As a parent we need to parent where part of that is getting on their asses about things until they figure it out for themselves. That goes for homework, that creates good life long study habits, as does getting on them about things of morality and common sense. Your's is a parenting style, but I prefer mine which is popular. Kids need rules and enforcement of them. Deep down they want it.
By 14 yrs old the life long study habits should have already been instituted into the child's life.
Teach in a middle school. You’ll find that to be VERY untrue.
That is because of the attitude of mothers like Lindaruns. They treat their preteens & teens like babies instead of young men & women.

It amazes me how a 14 -16 year old can not handle homework without mommy but by 16-17 yrs old they can drive automobiles & have jobs..lol.
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CotterpinDoozer
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My kids are still on the younger side, kindergarten and second grade, but I do have to police the kindergartener some. My second grader is terrified of getting a bad grade for some reason and insists I look over her stuff.
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Anonymous 4 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:00 am
Anonymous 8 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:55 am
Anonymous 4 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:27 am
By 14 yrs old the life long study habits should have already been instituted into the child's life.
Teach in a middle school. You’ll find that to be VERY untrue.
That is because of the attitude of mothers like Lindaruns. They treat their preteens & teens like babies instead of young men & women.

It amazes me how a 14 -16 year old can not handle homework without mommy but by 16-17 yrs old they can drive automobiles & have jobs..lol.
It’s actually the students with involved parents who succeed. Those with parents who have no involvement in their child’s academics have the kids who do not care, and are at risk of failing. I love my parents who are involved, as their children are more motivated within the classroom.
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Anonymous 8 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:48 am
Anonymous 4 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:00 am
Anonymous 8 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:55 am

Teach in a middle school. You’ll find that to be VERY untrue.
That is because of the attitude of mothers like Lindaruns. They treat their preteens & teens like babies instead of young men & women.

It amazes me how a 14 -16 year old can not handle homework without mommy but by 16-17 yrs old they can drive automobiles & have jobs..lol.
It’s actually the students with involved parents who succeed. Those with parents who have no involvement in their child’s academics have the kids who do not care, and are at risk of failing. I love my parents who are involved, as their children are more motivated within the classroom.
Its wonderful that we can agree to disagree.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2019 1:56 am My SIL thinks I'm controlling - I don't know how to explain my circumstances to a CHILDLESS SIL.

I've just told DD that she is NOT turning in the piece of crap assignment she's thrown together and that as soon as SIL leaves, we are sitting down and redoing it. I've done this because the handwriting is shit - she's not answering the questions properly and the presentation is just shocking. It looks like something I'd expect off a 6yo (without assistance) not a 14yo. She told me "it's done. I'm handing it in and you can't stop me". So I confiscated it and ripped it up. DD then called me a 'F***ing bitch' which led to SIL's statement.

The background? DD has aspergers and has control issues. If it's not exactly how she wants - even if that's shit - she looses it. I could just let her turn it in as is and fail - but there are still no real world consequences for that at school, like I can do at home - like making her redo it until it's good. So she's learnt it doesn't matter. Whereas at home - she knows damn well that if she refuses to wash the dishes properly and just half-ass's it, then I will make her stay in the kitchen until each dish is washed perfectly. She will rage, hit herself, hit me, bite herself - but she does not LEAVE that kitchen until it's done - and then is punished further for hitting me.

In the real world - chances are her boss will not let her leave until she completes a task properly. If she refuses to do it - she will be fired. If she rages and hits people - she will be off to jail. So - I feel I am appropriately equipping her. She is talked to when she is calm, talked through the experience again and is in counselling - but SIL still thinks she "knows" better than her parents and a psychologist.
No. I would not treat my child like that. Ripping up their paper is cruel and violent.

They lose privileges at home if their grades drop too low, so if they’re choosing to turn in crap or to not do their work at all, there will be consequences, but I don’t micromanage every assignment.

I also have a child who would go into a rage when pushed to do something they don’t want. I do not escalate the situation by forcing them to stay and do something when it’s clear they are about to lose control. It’s so much better for everyone to let them go calm down and then come back to it when they’re ready.

I’m trying to teach them to walk away and calm down before things get out of hand.
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