I am never going to own a home.

Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 2 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:33 pm There’s something bigger going on here. (Maybe you know that, I haven’t been following your post, assuming you’re the one who’s been posting about buying.)

How old is he?

Has he (or you) ever owned a home before?

Does he want to live in the same area forever?

He’s scared of something - feeling trapped, unable to pay the mortgage every single month for 30 years, the responsibility of home ownership, something else...

But, underpriced houses turn into a bidding war and it’s easy to get sucked in and spend more than you intended.
He's 33. He's never owned a home before. He doesn't want to live in the same area forever, but we've rented this apartment 10 years. We haven't owned homes before. Our rent is going up to just over $4k a month, and we've always had an easy time paying rent.
Anonymous 4

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Emandab wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:35 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:10 pm DH's new reason for not putting an offer on a house is that he thinks it's worth a lot more than the list price, so he's not going to waste time on a house he thinks we won't get.
Well that's just dumb lol. When you buy a house you don't usually negotiate up in price, but down. Unless the house is a hot buy that will get many offers.
I had to back in the day. But that was because investors were picking up the foreclosures and bidding over the banks price. Now it's different. I'd be having a heart to heart with my dh.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 4 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 1:34 pm
Emandab wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:35 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:10 pm DH's new reason for not putting an offer on a house is that he thinks it's worth a lot more than the list price, so he's not going to waste time on a house he thinks we won't get.
Well that's just dumb lol. When you buy a house you don't usually negotiate up in price, but down. Unless the house is a hot buy that will get many offers.
I had to back in the day. But that was because investors were picking up the foreclosures and bidding over the banks price. Now it's different. I'd be having a heart to heart with my dh.
You would have to offer more than the list here, too. With some exceptions, like if a house stays on the market longer than two weeks.
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Anonymous 3 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:54 pm Sounds like he doesn't want to be on a mortgage with you. Maybe he is unhappy and wants to leave.
Or he thinks the house is overpriced...
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Conweis
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Maybe he secretly wants to divorce you.
Oliviasmom72
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Well he must like wasting money and paying high rent with no asset to show for it.
JoJo728
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He seems to have a bit of a defeatist attitude. You don't know if you will get it or not unless you try.

I remember your other post. I can't imagine throwing away that much in rent and having nothing to show for it. For what it is worth, I would sit down with him with a list of pros/cons. Not only covering the equity you will build but the tax break on owning a home. And ask him to dig deep and really look at what is holding him back. Good luck.
Anonymous 1

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JoJo728 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 3:49 pm He seems to have a bit of a defeatist attitude. You don't know if you will get it or not unless you try.

I remember your other post. I can't imagine throwing away that much in rent and having nothing to show for it. For what it is worth, I would sit down with him with a list of pros/cons. Not only covering the equity you will build but the tax break on owning a home. And ask him to dig deep and really look at what is holding him back. Good luck.
He says that nothing has made him want to move to a completely new area as much as looking for a home here. So, I asked if he wanted to move away, and he said no. He wants to stay and sign a new lease at our apartment.
Anonymous 5

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How many years have you been married?

Two things are crossing my mind:
1. At his job, is there any talk of layoffs?
2. Is he afraid to commit to this large purchase because he's questioning the stability of the marriage?
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 5 wrote: Tue Oct 22, 2019 4:21 pm How many years have you been married?

Two things are crossing my mind:
1. At his job, is there any talk of layoffs?
2. Is he afraid to commit to this large purchase because he's questioning the stability of the marriage?
We've been married ten years. He's only been at his job for two and a half years, and layoffs are always a possibility at any job he's had. But he just turned down a job offer for 20k more a year because he likes his current job. So we know he could get another job making more money if he were to be laid off. He just texted me that he thinks we could save another $52k in two years if we keep renting. I also think we could save if we buy, so that doesn't matter to me. If he wanted to divorce, he'd be trying to convince me to move. Instead he's making jokes like how about he just takes all our savings and bets them on black instead.
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