I don't want the DAD involved!!!!

[Pjmm]

How old are you? It's odd that you stated the guys age as if that's really old to you. If he is not a bad person, he should see his son. You are being selfish, your son deserves to know who his father is.

Im 30 years old. He's fourteen years older than me. Im sorry but I do tend to think of him as being "old".

But not too old to sleep with right? Look Idc what people do. But you're being hypocritical. 44 isn't old from my perspective. He could be 70 and still have the right to see his child.

[Anonymous 10]

I don't know what to do. I'm awaiting the results of a paternity test and I'm scared. I have a little boy by a 43-year-old man who has paid for this test. He knows this is his son. I hid him for five years but this guy ended finding out. I'm scared to death. My son's dad is an okay guy but he lives three hours away from me. I might sound selfish but I don't want my son to spend any time with him. My mom made matters worse by telling me that once the results are in, he will fight me for custody. I shouldn't have agreed to take this test. He told me that he would take me to court if I didn't agree. By the way, this guy has a 20-year-old daughter so this is not his first child. I just opened up a can of worms.

This is probably a troll, but I'll bite... guess you shouldn't have spread your legs.

Why is it always her spreading her legs. People don't tell guy who don't want to pay child support that he should have kept it in his pants

What? Yes they do.. And why is it her spreading her legs? Because that's how babies are made. She's the one that can get pregnant she's responsible for her own body. Just like he's responsible for his. If she had protected herself she wouldn't be in this situation.

[madfoodie]

The dad wants to be involved. Let him. He has just as much rights to this child as you do.
Read this:
https://www.fatherly.com/health-science ... er-effect/

[stilltfez]

I don't know what to do. I'm awaiting the results of a paternity test and I'm scared. I have a little boy by a 43-year-old man who has paid for this test. He knows this is his son. I hid him for five years but this guy ended finding out. I'm scared to death. My son's dad is an okay guy but he lives three hours away from me. I might sound selfish but I don't want my son to spend any time with him. My mom made matters worse by telling me that once the results are in, he will fight me for custody. I shouldn't have agreed to take this test. He told me that he would take me to court if I didn't agree. By the way, this guy has a 20-year-old daughter so this is not his first child. I just opened up a can of worms.

This is probably a troll, but I'll bite... guess you shouldn't have spread your legs.

Why is it always her spreading her legs. People don't tell guy who don't want to pay child support that he should have kept it in his pants

I do. And hiding a kid from a parent, either parent, is beyond wrong. Unless it's for the child's safety and all legal avenues won't work. This poster (anon1) just doesn't want to have to share.

[Valentina327]

No they don't everytime a post comes up they all say hw should have an out too. They never say he should have kept it in his pants
They do have a say. They can keep it in their pants and in my state you can't get ab abortion past 8 weeks. We have the heartbeat law.


quote=Momto2boys973 post_id=582873 time=1570733442 user_id=489]
What are you talking about? People say that all the time and even find it more acceptable than telling women to “keep their legs crossed”.
If anything, men have much less rights than women regarding parenthood. Unlike women, they have no saying in whether or not they want to be parents. Even if they give up theirs rights, they’re still obligated to pay CS.

This is probably a troll, but I'll bite... guess you shouldn't have spread your legs.

Why is it always her spreading her legs. People don't tell guy who don't want to pay child support that he should have kept it in his pants

[/quote]

Due to the abortion laws, we have firmly established the "my body my choice" mentality, where it's perfectly acceptable and understood that a woman may abort a man's child whether he wants that child or not. He has zero say.

She has total control over whether that child comes into this world at all. That's the reason why the ultimate responsibility for birth control SHOULD rest firmly on the shoulders of the woman i.e. "keep your legs closed". When you have 100% control, you're obligated to manage that dominion. It's logical.

For the record, I've seen and heard "keep your pants zipped" plenty.

[Anonymous 6]

I asked this question early in the post and I don't think you ever answered me.

Was there a particular reason why you didn't tell him that you were pregnant? When you learned you were pregnant, was there the possibility that someone else might be the father?

[Pjmm]

No they don't everytime a post comes up they all say hw should have an out too. They never say he should have kept it in his pants
They do have a say. They can keep it in their pants and in my state you can't get ab abortion past 8 weeks. We have the heartbeat law.


quote=Momto2boys973 post_id=582873 time=1570733442 user_id=489]
What are you talking about? People say that all the time and even find it more acceptable than telling women to “keep their legs crossed”.
If anything, men have much less rights than women regarding parenthood. Unlike women, they have no saying in whether or not they want to be parents. Even if they give up theirs rights, they’re still obligated to pay CS.

Why is it always her spreading her legs. People don't tell guy who don't want to pay child support that he should have kept it in his pants

Due to the abortion laws, we have firmly established the "my body my choice" mentality, where it's perfectly acceptable and understood that a woman may abort a man's child whether he wants that child or not. He has zero say.

She has total control over whether that child comes into this world at all. That's the reason why the ultimate responsibility for birth control SHOULD rest firmly on the shoulders of the woman i.e. "keep your legs closed". When you have 100% control, you're obligated to manage that dominion. It's logical.

For the record, I've seen and heard "keep your pants zipped" plenty.
[/quote]

I don't look at it the way you do nor do I even understand it. If what you say is true a man would be a complete idiot to not use condoms or help a woman with birth control. Of course I have sons so perhaps I've got a different perspective. My perspective is also this: say hypothetically my son and the woman are going to have a baby. He has rights and responsibilities now. So does she, although she can abort or not. Oh well. Like it or not that's our legal system and most likely will not change. So, have S*x at your own risk. That's just common sense and facing reality.

[Valentina327]

No they don't everytime a post comes up they all say hw should have an out too. They never say he should have kept it in his pants
They do have a say. They can keep it in their pants and in my state you can't get ab abortion past 8 weeks. We have the heartbeat law.


quote=Momto2boys973 post_id=582873 time=1570733442 user_id=489]
What are you talking about? People say that all the time and even find it more acceptable than telling women to “keep their legs crossed”.
If anything, men have much less rights than women regarding parenthood. Unlike women, they have no saying in whether or not they want to be parents. Even if they give up theirs rights, they’re still obligated to pay CS.

Due to the abortion laws, we have firmly established the "my body my choice" mentality, where it's perfectly acceptable and understood that a woman may abort a man's child whether he wants that child or not. He has zero say.

She has total control over whether that child comes into this world at all. That's the reason why the ultimate responsibility for birth control SHOULD rest firmly on the shoulders of the woman i.e. "keep your legs closed". When you have 100% control, you're obligated to manage that dominion. It's logical.

For the record, I've seen and heard "keep your pants zipped" plenty.

I don't look at it the way you do nor do I even understand it. If what you say is true a man would be a complete idiot to not use condoms or help a woman with birth control. Of course I have sons so perhaps I've got a different perspective. My perspective is also this: say hypothetically my son and the woman are going to have a baby. He has rights and responsibilities now. So does she, although she can abort or not. Oh well. Like it or not that's our legal system and most likely will not change. So, have S*x at your own risk. That's just common sense and facing reality.
[/quote]


"If what I say is true". I'm not sure where there's any question. The woman decides to abort or not and there's nothing the man can do about it. These are the facts. He can't stop her. The woman has 100% say.

Yes PJ, a man would be an absolute idiot to not engage in protecting against pregnancy. Agreed. But there are a fair amount that don't care or worry themselves too much about it.

Since the woman is the one who has to go through all of it (making the decision, carrying the baby, getting an abortion) I've always taken the position that I'm damn well going to be certain that I don't get pregnant if I don't want to. I'm not going to rely on someone else to be responsible for such an important thing.

[Pjmm]

Due to the abortion laws, we have firmly established the "my body my choice" mentality, where it's perfectly acceptable and understood that a woman may abort a man's child whether he wants that child or not. He has zero say.

She has total control over whether that child comes into this world at all. That's the reason why the ultimate responsibility for birth control SHOULD rest firmly on the shoulders of the woman i.e. "keep your legs closed". When you have 100% control, you're obligated to manage that dominion. It's logical.

For the record, I've seen and heard "keep your pants zipped" plenty.

I don't look at it the way you do nor do I even understand it. If what you say is true a man would be a complete idiot to not use condoms or help a woman with birth control. Of course I have sons so perhaps I've got a different perspective. My perspective is also this: say hypothetically my son and the woman are going to have a baby. He has rights and responsibilities now. So does she, although she can abort or not. Oh well. Like it or not that's our legal system and most likely will not change. So, have S*x at your own risk. That's just common sense and facing reality.

"If what I say is true". I'm not sure where there's any question. The woman decides to abort or not and there's nothing the man can do about it. These are the facts. He can't stop her. The woman has 100% say.

Yes PJ, a man would be an absolute idiot to not engage in protecting against pregnancy. Agreed. But there are a fair amount that don't care or worry themselves too much about it.

Since the woman is the one who has to go through all of it (making the decision, carrying the baby, getting an abortion) I've always taken the position that I'm damn well going to be certain that I don't get pregnant if I don't want to. I'm not going to rely on someone else to be responsible for such an important thing.
[/quote]

Well given that 99.9 percent of the time the woman is doing most of the raising of that child-i did even though I was married- I've got no problem with a woman deciding to abort. Not when all a man has to do is write that cs check and sometimes they don't even do that or they fight it every step of the way. To not stand up for our rights to hold men accountable is moronic and stupid in a time where the politicians already want to limit insurances paying for our bc much less abortions. But I bet if they need Viagra that shit is covered. Now I don't mean to get on a soapbox and you can disagree but meanwhile I will tell my sons single motherhood is hard. I lived it although my ex was involved. But many men aren't so those women often suffer isolation and poverty. That's a fact. I don't complain; I made my bed. But by God I say to my sons you will accept your responsibility or answer to me. If you don't want children use condoms and pick your partner wisely. If I had daughters I'd tell her the father has rights and you need to let him have them, also use birth control. Both should take responsibility for it. Also fathers are extremely important in children's lives. That's been proven. Now in op's case this man wants to be involved. That's commendable and assuming he's not toxic she should let him.

[Deleted User 876]

If he is the biological father, he has a right to know his child. I would suggest you stop being so controlling and learn how to get along with him, because if you try to prevent him from having contact with his child then he will have every right to go to court to force it. No good parent would force that kind of stress and misery on their own child for no good reason.