What is wrong with her?!?

[californiagirl83]

Everyone is in agreement on where they stand in this arrangement. No one is doing anything wrong. You're the one with the problem, it seems.

[CotterpinDoozer]

Nothing is wrong with her, so you need to ask yourself what's wrong with YOU that this bothers you so much.

[7byher]

Oh dear. Its so tragic. And none of your damn business. She sounds like she's doing just fine.

[bmw29]

The first guy is a friend and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has friends, it's normal and healthy. The second guy is kind of a whatever. I'm not cool with that arrangement for myself but I don't give a damn what other people do. Personally I think you should mind your business and try figuring out what friendship means.

[LiveWhatULove]

Being a friend is showing empathy and not judging. Why are you so concerned? What do you think will happen? Are you concerned for her safety? Her emotional well-being?

Do you like reading? I finished City of Girls. The main character has a relationship for 12 years to a man she cannot sleep with and she sleeps with other guys. It is fiction, but a very compelling case of how relationships do not have to be physical.

[Anonymous 1]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

[carterscutie85]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

Perhaps the persons she was before was the person she thought she had to be to make everyone else happy. Now she's making herself happy and being her real, true self without any fucks given.

[Anonymous 2]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

Imagine being this stupid...

Her method didnt work out for her so she is trying something different. Mind your own business.

[7byher]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

She's seeing one as a friend and one as a lover. Nothing wrong with that. And if you've known her for 20 years then you should assume that she will evolve and become a different person. Its what people do, we grow and become new versions of ourselves.
She's doing nothing wrong and living her life the way she wants.
I should take a page from her book and find myself a couple of men, one for S*x, the other for friendship.
Some women feel as though we do better when we're single, there's nothing like it, total freedom to do as we please. And honestly, men are more trouble than they're worth for a single woman.
You have no right to judge her for her life choices. Get over it.

[That'swhatshesaid]

I'm confused as to why you think that this is in any way your business.