Foster parent?

[Olioxenfree]

My husband and I want to be foster parents someday. We're planning on waiting until our kids are all old enough to be pretty self-sufficient. We have five kids and are planning to have one more, so we want to make sure that we can really give the children the time and attention that they will need after going through a trauma. We plan on having our last baby in another year, so we are thinking about starting the process once my oldest is 18, then my youngest would be 9-10.

Any advice from current foster parents?

[Anonymous 1]

10 years away and you want advice now? You have no idea what the future holds so why even bother with the charade Lena. Come on lol

[sarah824]

My brother and SIL were foster parents for quite a few years. They adopted two of their fosters and now have stopped because my parents are living with them for medical reasons and they no longer have room for the foster kids. The advice I always remember hearing from my SIL was to immerse the kids into your regular, every day life as soon as you can. Treat them as you treat your kids. Don't make them feel any different. Give them chores. Expect them to do homework. She said the fosters always seemed to respond well to the normalcy in the home.

[That'swhatshesaid]

10 years away and you want advice now? You have no idea what the future holds so why even bother with the charade Lena. Come on lol

Lena has to get a jump start on patting herself on the back.

[Anonymous 2]

Be prepared for a metric shitton of red tape and paperwork. My BIL was a foster parent for a while, until CPS got shitty and he told them to stuff it.

House has to be *so* big. Can only have *so* many kids in a room. Family, not matter how close-knit, is not a support system. Cases are confidential and cannot be shared for any reason.

As much as I'd like to help kids from shitty backgrounds, I do not want to deal with another broken government agency that really doesn't give a crap about those they're supposed to be helping.

[Anonymous 3]

My husband and I want to be foster parents someday. We're planning on waiting until our kids are all old enough to be pretty self-sufficient. We have five kids and are planning to have one more, so we want to make sure that we can really give the children the time and attention that they will need after going through a trauma. We plan on having our last baby in another year, so we are thinking about starting the process once my oldest is 18, then my youngest would be 9-10.

Any advice from current foster parents?

Prepare all the members in your family for becoming a foster family, everyone has to be on board.

Learn how to communicate with everyone including the birth family,teachers and other school officials, therapists
social workers and other agency staff, judges and other court personnel, like a GAL or a CASA worker
other foster parents, your family and friends, who may just not understand your role as a foster parent,
and the child.

Take them on their first Siberian Train ride asap like you did with your other kids

[Deleted User 670]

Not a foster parent, no advice. I admire people who genuinely go into being foster parents to open their homes to at risk kids and give them a stable family. I've got one kid, she's 22 and I've no desire to parent any other children.

[LiveWhatULove]

Good luck.

Being a foster parent was on my wish list for a long time. But having my own Child with challenges has broken me a bit. I do not think that I would be strong enough to put all that emotional effort into a small being only to have the child removed from my home and often placed back in a high risk environment without the nurturing they need. I would not do well with that at all.

[agander2017]

I have no idea. I've never had that experience. Maybe there is a Facebook group or something that you can join where people can give you advice, and examples on what to expect, and the best way to start the process.

[hotspice58]

Develop a thick thick skin. Research trauma therapy. Be prepared for lots of acting out, develop a thick skin. Get ready for lots of appointments. That’s all I can think of right now.