Naming a miscarriage

[madfoodie]

I did. I was 2 weeks away from 5 months.
To be clear, I found out I was having a boy the week before I lost him.

[carterscutie85]

Yes. My youngest son's name was picked out by then. I had a blood test to tell me the gender.

[Thunderbug75]

Only if we had already picked a name.

I lost my first early on, almost before I had even processed I was actually pregnant. So no there was no name.

[MrsDavidB]

fake names?

I say fake because she had no idea of the genders so she went with neutral names Bailey and Jamie.

You sound like a bitch. It's her baby and her loss. It's not fake FFS

No anon. Her pregnancies were not fake, the names she made up were. She would have never used those names if the babies were born. She gave them fake names.

[WickedPissah]

Yes...at that point we knew gender. Our dd had a name when we lost her at 36 weeks as we had picked her name as soon as we knew her gender.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[EmilyH87]

Probably would already have a name picked out, so more than likely yes.

[Pjmm]

I don't know. I might.

[BionicBunny]

Yes I did. We had a name picked out before the miscarriage and decided we wouldn’t use the name in the future.

[SisterSomeone]

Hard to know without having been in that situation. Based on my one pregnancy, I don't think I would. Honestly, I didn't really feel anything for him at 4 months. At that point, I remember mostly feeling curious about this physical process that my body was going through, and little else. I didn't really have any strong emotions towards the baby until he was born. If I miscarried at that point, I can't see that I'd feel the need to name the fetus. Maybe I'd feel different if I'd gone through it, who knows.

In any case, why does it matter? If naming the miscarried fetus helps someone grieve, why not?

[Deleted User 1039]

A miscarriage is an event. The fetus is still a fetus, it’s not now called a “miscarriage.” Do you think that when a woman says, “I had a miscarriage,” they were saying that they delivered something called a “miscarriage”? That it was the same as saying “I had a baby”?