Child custody battle

[Anonymous 1]

Asking for a friend. And yes it's really for a friend, because I want to be prepared for how this might go for her.

My friend is involved in a nasty custody battle with her ex. When they split, they didn't go through the courts for a custody agreement and just went off what they agreed on. They did not divorce, but they agreed it was over and they were okay with each other seeing other people - or so that's what the ex claimed he was okay with. But when she filed for divorce her ex flipped out and took the kids and refuses to give them back. Because there is no agreement she cant get them back until they go to court. She has called the cops but they say they cant do anything because there is no order.

My friend and her ex have been separated for 3 years, and she has been in a relationship with a guy she has been dating for almost 8 months. Things are getting serious between them and that's why she started pushing for a divorce. The issue here is, the ex decided to do some digging around on my friend's boyfriend and found out that he has a record of thefts and drug offenses. This was over 12 years ago, he has been clean and sober for over 10 years. He is a deacon of a church and a mentor for several years. He has a 9y daughter of whom he has sole custody of. I have met this guy and gotten to know he and his daughter and their situation. This really looks like a case of a man who went through some things in his younger years and overcame his issues. He is all about his daughter, a real attentive father. He takes her to ballet recitals and gymnastic. He has wall to wall photos of her. He owns his own business and does really well for them. He's head over hills for my friend and treats her really good.

Now her ex wants to use her boyfriend and his past as an excuse to permanently take custody away from her. He also claims that her boyfriend is living with her, which isn't true. He owns his own home, but he does stay at my friends house from time to time and she stays with him on other days. Nobody has moved in with anyone and from what I know, they don't have plans to do any of that just yet.

Is there a real chance that the judge will give her ex sole custody over who my friend is involved with in her personal life?

[Inmybizz]

Since it’s been so long ago I don’t think it will cause much harm to her case. His lawyer could argue he’s a negative influence because if his past(she should probably expect something like that).

I don’t think anyone can predict the future and tell you what’s going to happen with your friend and her case. I do think judges try to keep the kids with the mother.

[Anonymous 2]

Asking for a friend. And yes it's really for a friend, because I want to be prepared for how this might go for her.

My friend is involved in a nasty custody battle with her ex. When they split, they didn't go through the courts for a custody agreement and just went off what they agreed on. They did not divorce, but they agreed it was over and they were okay with each other seeing other people - or so that's what the ex claimed he was okay with. But when she filed for divorce her ex flipped out and took the kids and refuses to give them back. Because there is no agreement she cant get them back until they go to court. She has called the cops but they say they cant do anything because there is no order.

My friend and her ex have been separated for 3 years, and she has been in a relationship with a guy she has been dating for almost 8 months. Things are getting serious between them and that's why she started pushing for a divorce. The issue here is, the ex decided to do some digging around on my friend's boyfriend and found out that he has a record of thefts and drug offenses. This was over 12 years ago, he has been clean and sober for over 10 years. He is a deacon of a church and a mentor for several years. He has a 9y daughter of whom he has sole custody of. I have met this guy and gotten to know he and his daughter and their situation. This really looks like a case of a man who went through some things in his younger years and overcame his issues. He is all about his daughter, a real attentive father. He takes her to ballet recitals and gymnastic. He has wall to wall photos of her. He owns his own business and does really well for them. He's head over hills for my friend and treats her really good.

Now her ex wants to use her boyfriend and his past as an excuse to permanently take custody away from her. He also claims that her boyfriend is living with her, which isn't true. He owns his own home, but he does stay at my friends house from time to time and she stays with him on other days. Nobody has moved in with anyone and from what I know, they don't have plans to do any of that just yet.

Is there a real chance that the judge will give her ex sole custody over who my friend is involved with in her personal life?

Your friend is an idiot for not legally separating and for not having the custody and visitation in writing.
Its a 50/50 crap shoot at this point on if the father can use this against her.
He's definitely the smarter parent.

[MistressMonster]

They should have gone through the courts when they first separated.

[Anonymous 1]

Since it’s been so long ago I don’t think it will cause much harm to her case. His lawyer could argue he’s a negative influence because if his past(she should probably expect something like that).

I don’t think anyone can predict the future and tell you what’s going to happen with your friend and her case. I do think judges try to keep the kids with the mother.

I hope not. She is a really good mother and doesn't deserve to lose her kids. I am hoping for all of their sakes, the judge would see that this man has turned his life around.

[Inmybizz]

What does her lawyers say about the situation?

[Anonymous 1]

What does her lawyers say about the situation?

Her lawyer laughed and thought it was ridiculous. But he said he can't say for certain how this case will go, it all depends on who the judge is and the information presented. He doubts that he will get sole custody but depending on who the judge is will determine if there will be 50/50 (which is what she is asking) or who is primary. But he did say after that, that crazier things have happened, so she needs to do her work and gather all the paperwork and witnesses she can for her case. This was her first visit after the ex told her that he was going for sole custody, and they are not sure if he has hired a lawyer yet.

[Deleted User 1393]

She has a stable home.
She has no record
50/50

[hotspice58]

If there’s no neglect or abuse, I can’t see either of them getting sole custody....but you can’t tell how a judge will rule.

[stilltfez]

Now days judges are more likely to give 50/50. Have they appointed an atty for the children?