People are calling me petty and jealous because I dont want the other woman in my house

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jas
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Bubbs wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:35 pm
jas wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:51 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:25 pm

I disagree. There is nothing wrong with having separate things
Some things - yes. But a graduation party is different. It happens once. He should have been invited.
When that time comes, I would have it in a neutral location, so I don’t have to have him in my home.

Some people have personal space boundaries.
That I can certainly understand
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LiveWhatULove
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Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:32 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:58 pm I think your decision and concerns are petty.
I think party guests that would share their uninvited opinion with their host are rude and uncouth.
Why are her feelings petty? Should she feel different or be different because other people disagree?
The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
Anonymous 7

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LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:32 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:58 pm I think your decision and concerns are petty.
I think party guests that would share their uninvited opinion with their host are rude and uncouth.
Why are her feelings petty? Should she feel different or be different because other people disagree?
The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
Well not all of us are so enlightened
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Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:43 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:32 pm

Why are her feelings petty? Should she feel different or be different because other people disagree?
The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
Well not all of us are so enlightened
LOL @ the dig, I am far from enlightened, :lol: BUT I do know that with effort, practice, meditation, & mindfulness, you or the OP can heal from betrayal, we all can.
Anonymous 1

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LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:32 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:58 pm I think your decision and concerns are petty.
I think party guests that would share their uninvited opinion with their host are rude and uncouth.
Why are her feelings petty? Should she feel different or be different because other people disagree?
The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
So you would be shitty enough to invite someone your child doesn't want there?

I think you are mistaking my whole point. If someone disrespects me they arent* invited to my house.
Anonymous 6

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How long ago did you divorce your ex?
Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 6:20 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:32 pm

Why are her feelings petty? Should she feel different or be different because other people disagree?
The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
So you would be shitty enough to invite someone your child doesn't want there?

I think you are mistaking my whole point. If someone disrespects me they are invited to my house.
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I wouldn't care one bit about the opinions of others. No woman who participates in an affair with my husband is coming in my house post-divorce for fear that I'll be called petty. Absolutely not.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 6 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 6:31 pm How long ago did you divorce your ex?
Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 6:20 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm

The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
So you would be shitty enough to invite someone your child doesn't want there?

I think you are mistaking my whole point. If someone disrespects me they are invited to my house.
About 7 years ago.

It wouldnt matter if this was in 20 or 50 years though she still wouldnt be invited to my house.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 6:20 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm
Anonymous 7 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:32 pm

Why are her feelings petty? Should she feel different or be different because other people disagree?
The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
So you would be shitty enough to invite someone your child doesn't want there?

I think you are mistaking my whole point. If someone disrespects me they arent* invited to my house.
I am far from perfect, I act petty plenty of times in my life too, but I simply feel this specific issue is petty. I am not mistaking, just being truthful.

We have completely different perspectives; if someone disrespects me, I work towards forgiveness, moving on, & letting go. I am trying to instill the same values in my children. Obviously that's a core value difference between us, so we can just accept to disagree.

You obviously have strong feelings about this issue and you know what is best for your family, so I wish you peace with your choice, and as I said I think your guests were rude to bring it up anyway.
Anonymous 1

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LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 7:07 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 6:20 pm
LiveWhatULove wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:42 pm

The OP can have any feelings, she needs to at the moment. She is welcome to harbor emotional baggage, just as I am free to suggest being mindful and letting it go is a better alternative.

I define petty as worrying about inconsequential things. In my opinion, the other woman, is inconsequential, even several minutes of concern over her presence is emotional clutter that I would not even entertain this far after the event. She's not worthy of a moment in my mind.

I would worry about my home, the food, my children, the number of guests, the safety of those coming, but unless I didn't have space or there was a risk of violence, I would not worry about her coming or not coming. She's nothing but another person who I passed on the road of life, not worthy of any emotional energy. So to me, remembering the anger and feelings in the moment of betrayal & letting them dictate future decisions is petty.

You and the OP are free to disagree.
So you would be shitty enough to invite someone your child doesn't want there?

I think you are mistaking my whole point. If someone disrespects me they arent* invited to my house.
I am far from perfect, I act petty plenty of times in my life too, but I simply feel this specific issue is petty. I am not mistaking, just being truthful.

We have completely different perspectives; if someone disrespects me, I work towards forgiveness, moving on, & letting go. I am trying to instill the same values in my children. Obviously that's a core value difference between us, so we can just accept to disagree.

You obviously have strong feelings about this issue and you know what is best for your family, so I wish you peace with your choice, and as I said I think your guests were rude to bring it up anyway.
It is a FACT that is fucked up to invite someone when the person you are celebrating doesnt want them there. Only a shitty person would do that. Why are you so shitty?
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