DNA does not make you family

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mojogirl
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:15 pm
mojogirl wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:09 pm I'll make an assumption that because she jumped to trying to take your house that she came around looking for money. I'd probably tell her to go kick rocks too.
Exactly
I get it. My sister is estranged, by choice. Has been for years. Her kids are adults now. If they came sniffing around I can guarantee it'd be cause they're looking for money. They want a real relationship, fine. They want to threaten me with lawyers to take my house... bye felicia.
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Fullxbusymom
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:35 pm
Fullxbusymom wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:25 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:22 pm

You are confusing hated for apathy. You cant hate strangers
Oh you most definitely can. I just see her as an innocent in all this. I would have opened my door and welcomed getting to know her and her life. I just feel a bit differently than you on this.
How is she innocent in this? She is well past the age of being a child. Her grandparents were alive when came to the age of majority. It was her decision to be estranged from her grandparents and from us. Shes a stranger and I do not have the inclination to get to know a complete stranger. This was her choice and she needs to accept it
Woah Nilly, no need to attack just my opinion.
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Anonymous 5 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 7:24 pm She may have just found out the address for your mom and was looking to get to know family. I'm sure she doesn't fully understand the circumstances of the family fallout. She was probably fed horrible lies about the family. And when you were so harsh and rude to her she went on the defense. Would it kill you to have a heart? She's not your brother.
My parents had lived in that house for 60 years. She was well aware of where they lived. She has been adult for almost a decade. She was an adult when when grandfather died. She had plenty of time to reach out once she reached adulthood. She made choices and now has to live with those choices. I was never rude or hateful to her. I answered her questions. Nothing more to say
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Fullxbusymom wrote: Sat Apr 20, 2019 10:44 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:35 pm
Fullxbusymom wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:25 pm

Oh you most definitely can. I just see her as an innocent in all this. I would have opened my door and welcomed getting to know her and her life. I just feel a bit differently than you on this.
How is she innocent in this? She is well past the age of being a child. Her grandparents were alive when came to the age of majority. It was her decision to be estranged from her grandparents and from us. Shes a stranger and I do not have the inclination to get to know a complete stranger. This was her choice and she needs to accept it
Woah Nilly, no need to attack just my opinion.
Informing you of the circumstances is not attacking you.
MuggleMama
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I would’ve heard her out
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Fullxbusymom wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:19 pm Why the hatred? I guess i don't understand, she didn't do anything your brother did.
Telling someone something isn't hate, her yelling at OP and threatening to take away her house does sound like hate tho.
RedBottoms

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Team you. Your brother and his wife made the choice to estrange themselves from you and your parents. You don't get to be told about funerals and other things when you are estranged. If you want to know about shit like that-then don't estrange yourself.

The niece was not really to blame as she was only 7-but once she became an adult-she had a chance to reach out at any time and did not and that is on her.

You don't owe any of them anything. Live your life
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Valentina327
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:48 pm
MistressMonster wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:42 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:35 pm

How is she innocent in this? She is well past the age of being a child. Her grandparents were alive when came to the age of majority. It was her decision to be estranged from her grandparents and from us. Shes a stranger and I do not have the inclination to get to know a complete stranger. This was her choice and she needs to accept it
Notice she sought y'all after her mother passed away. Could it be her mom was the source of the falling out between them? Just food for thought.
Doesn't matter. She still made the choice to continue the estrangement.
Very sad what she was robbed of due to her parents being stubborn. It's awful.

Unfortunately, when kids grow up having their mind poisoned against certain people, that becomes habit to them. As children we naturally side with our parents. We don't see the realities or stupidity of a situation until we view it with adult eyes.

It's easier just to go along with the ban on those family members even after "the age of majority", than to have to go head to head with your parents about it. The kids sink into what the parents have pounded into their heads for years and years. It's not easy to go against your parents expectations.

I feel terrible for her that by the time she finally worked up the courage to break free from her parents and their insanity it was too late. I'd have handled that much different. She'll never ever know her grandparents now, but I would have told her of them, shown her pictures, caught her up on a bit of what she missed. While they're gone, it's not too late for YOU to get to know her.

Clearly she thinks you inherited the house. Obviously she'd have absolutely no way of knowing that you purchased it. She was striking out in fury, which is apparent to me and understandable. It may have taken her years to work up the nerve to come knock on the door like that. I can't imagine how crestfallen you'd be to find everyone gone.
Let's Go Brandon!
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Valentina327
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Anonymous 6 wrote: Sun Apr 21, 2019 7:02 am
Fullxbusymom wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:19 pm Why the hatred? I guess i don't understand, she didn't do anything your brother did.
Telling someone something isn't hate, her yelling at OP and threatening to take away her house does sound like hate tho.
That's not hate - that's a frustration response. She finally worked up the nerve just to find out everyone's dead and have a door slammed in her face.
Let's Go Brandon!
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