SD told her mom to go f herself.

[Anonon]

Things have been very very very very very tense between the step kids in BM for months now. BM went and eloped with her brand new boyfriend that the kids had not even met. She said it was love at first sight.

So the kids went from sharing a 3 bedroom house with BM on her time to sharing it with BM, their new step father and two step siblings they had not even met.

SD tried to be okay with it at first. She didnt complain much about sharing a room with a stranger. She tried to look at it as a fun experience and she has always wanted a sister (up until that point she only had brothers and step brothers)

Then the new step sister started being bitchy and taking over her room. She rearranged everything when SD was gone. She took over the closet and bathroom and pretty much everything. This was all too much for SD. That was the house SD had grown up in since birth, she felt it was unfair.

When she tried to change things back or compromise BM just got mad at her. She said that DD should be treating her like a guest and allow her to do pretty much whatever she wants. She said that SD has another house she can make decisions at so she needs to just get over it. \

SD told her that she is right... she does have another house that will be where she every night from now on. BM told her she doesnt get to make that choice she is just a child. SD told BM to go f**k herself. Packed up some of her stuff and left

I dont really blame SD at all. While it wasnt respectful to tell her mom to go f**k herself I can understand her frustration. DH talked to SD about it. She said there are better ways to talk to her mom that do not involve being so disrespectful and that she should be the bigger person. He isnt going to make her go to her moms anymore and he is going to look at setting a court date to get custody changed

[AsteroidStar]

I feel bad for your SD. Mom didn't handle that situation appropriately at all. Who does that? Marrying someone without first seeing how they are with the kids? Your stepdaughter was thrust into a really uncomfortable situation that was not of her making, and it's understandable why she would react the way she did. Mom did not respect her at all. At the same time, I can kind of sympathize with the new stepsister too. She was also thrust into this situation rather suddenly, moved out of the home she knew, and forced to adapt to not only a new home but new people as well. Stepsister isn't handling it well, but (I'm assuming) she's a teen. Behaving rationally in a highly emotionally charged atmosphere isn't really a teenage point of strength.

[CotterpinDoozer]

Wait, so Mom married and moved in a man her kids hadn't even met? That's pretty ballsy. How old are your stepkids? After a certain age they do get to make that choice in most places. It would have been better, if SD had kept her cool and spoken to her dad first, but what's done is done. What does your DH have to say about how all this went done?

[WickedPissah]

What's done is done. This same shit happens with Dads and their new whatever and her kids.

Sd needs to suck it up and deal.

[Deleted User 670]

How old is your step daughter? I'm guessing she's a teen? I am totally team step daughter. You don't just go and marry a dude and tell your kids to treat the dude's bitch daughter like a guest.

[eyes4ears]

Good for SD.

[Mrs.ChuckBass]

What's done is done. This same shit happens with Dads and their new whatever and her kids.

Sd needs to suck it up and deal.

no.....no.....no....sorry, no.

a responsible parent doesn't do things like this, this very irresponsible and risky behaviour, you don't just up and do shit like that and force your kids along for the ride, thats how kids end up in very bad situations.
if it really has played out as op says, then they should go for full custody

[WickedPissah]

What's done is done. This same shit happens with Dads and their new whatever and her kids.

Sd needs to suck it up and deal.

no.....no.....no....sorry, no.

a responsible parent doesn't do things like this, this very irresponsible and risky behaviour, you don't just up and do shit like that and force your kids along for the ride, thats how kids end up in very bad situations.
if it really has played out as op says, then they should go for full custody

In internet laws, sure. But irl, nah.

[madfoodie]

My ss told his mom that after she coughed out an excuse for the billionth time as to why she couldn't get him for visitation.

[Kayelynnesmommy]

I agree with sd that’s a total invasion of her personal space.