My name is Tiffany. I was part of CM and MC under the old forum and with a different screen name, but haven’t visited there for the better part of a year. I’ve been through lots of changes since last spring. Divorce sucks, y’all. And I let go of my kids. It was a mutual decision to let my ex take the kids (no, he didn’t coerce me, as my family thinks). Despite it being the absolute HARDEST decision of my entire life, it was the best thing for them. I was operating on autopilot by that point and while I took care of their physical and emotional needs, I wasn’t connecting in the way that they needed, and the divorce would have made it 1000x worse. We needed space from each other to grow and to give me a chance to be the mother they deserve. I couldn’t do that while rebuilding my life (not to mention, my ex has a well paying job and extra time while I am currently working two jobs just to survive). It took my divorce and giving him residential custody to make me realize just HOW much my world had built around them. I didn’t know how to function as a person, an individual, outside of being a mom. I didn’t know how to have conversations about politics or current events or even work without bringing the kids into it. I didn’t know how to relax because my mind was constantly thinking about things I needed to do for them — even if they weren’t with me and my ex was providing whatever they needed. I didn’t know how to cook just for myself. I didn’t know how to let someone else step in to do what I considered “my job.” Pathetically, I had a panic attack at work when my ex texted me that he had done routine school registration —- because that was something I had always done.
All that to say, this has been an incredibly difficult year, but it’s been good for everyone involved. The kids are doing as well as can be expected. My relationship with them has strengthened and I no longer see them as a job; I enjoy spending time with them again. We have fun at school events and holidays and weekends and time in between. We talk on the phone often and routinely do last minute sleepovers. And they enjoy being around me more because I’ve finally learned to relax.
Wasn’t planning to type all this out tonight, but it’s kind of cathartic to see the journey I writing. I am sure I’ll awake to much critical feedback, but that’s ok. I’ve also learned this year to deal with criticism and judgement and focus on what’s best for my family — but that’s a post for another day.
Hi, just introducing myself
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- Spoiled SAHM
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Princess Royal
- Posts: 6676
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 12:08 pm
- Location: Washington D.C.
Hi!
No negative criticism here.
Sounds like everything is working out for the best.
Good luck!
No negative criticism here.
Sounds like everything is working out for the best.
Good luck!
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- Peasant
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:44 am
Thank you!
KendallsMom wrote: ↑Sat Feb 16, 2019 2:46 am Hi!
No negative criticism here.
Sounds like everything is working out for the best.
Good luck!
- MistressMonster
- Sour Grapes
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Princess
- Posts: 10239
- Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:12 pm
- Location: Widow Lane&Hell Avenue
Welcome to the Insane Asylum
The oranges of the island are like blazing fire
Amongst the emerald boughs
And the lemons are like the paleness of a lover
Who has spent the night crying.
My soul was ripped to shreds on 10/27/14
Amongst the emerald boughs
And the lemons are like the paleness of a lover
Who has spent the night crying.
My soul was ripped to shreds on 10/27/14
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- Peasant
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:44 am
- LiveWhatULove
- Donated
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Princess
- Posts: 13961
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 7:55 am
Welcome to the site again!
Glad you are finding your new normalcy!
Glad you are finding your new normalcy!
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- Princess Royal
- Posts: 5242
- Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 9:27 pm
Welcome.
Happiness and success is not a one size fits all.
What do you do for work?
Happiness and success is not a one size fits all.
What do you do for work?
I shit glitter
- Linda_Runs
- Donated
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Regent
- Posts: 3836
- Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2019 9:38 am
- Location: Nut House
Hi Tiffany, and welcome back! I am Linda and was a member of the old CM and MC, but also Tween Titans, Time Out For You and a few other moderate groups.
I wish I had read that 15 yrs ago. Maybe my life would have been better. I'm glad you are moving forward and wish you the best.