Thanks, but no thanks

[QuantumNursing]

So you destroyed it and then returned it? Am I understanding correctly?

Either return it in pristine condition so he can get his money back or do what you want and keep it. Destroying it and then returning it is just a massive D*ck move.

No. I gave it right back. I didn't let ds keep it because of bil's silly conditions. Ds is a teen and yes he ruins a lot of hats and clothes. He comes home all muddy a lot. The hat would get muddy from that.

A teenager shouldn't be ruining clothes and hats on a regular basis. Or be getting muddy all the time. I have on my fourth teenager and unless they are playing a sport, painting, or participating in some other activity they do not come home covered in mud nor do they ruin clothes and hats. DS has had some of his hats for over a decade.

Oh bullshit. I would prefer my teens to be out getting dirty and they do

[Deleted User 172]

Some things are like that. Meant to be displayed and kept nice.

But everything can't be like that and too much is just clutter.

Its not up to the giver to decide that

Some things I can understand. Signed baseball from the World Series, display it, nobody is touching that.
Things like that, collectors items should stay collectors items.
But what's shes describing is just stuff. Its meant to be used.

[QuantumNursing]

Some things are like that. Meant to be displayed and kept nice.

But everything can't be like that and too much is just clutter.

Its not up to the giver to decide that

Some things I can understand. Signed baseball from the World Series, display it, nobody is touching that.
Things like that, collectors items should stay collectors items.
But what's shes describing is just stuff. Its meant to be used.

Absolutely

[SeekingPeace]

The GIVER doesn't get to dictate how their gift is used. I would have just let my child do with it what she wanted.

[Ladyiq]

My MIL sent two homemade dolls to our daughters when they were 4 and 8 and told them that they were not for playing with but just for display. Those dolls sat on their bookshelves gathering dust and were never loved and appreciated. They are now in a box somewhere. Conditional gifts suck.

[sheramom4]

No. I gave it right back. I didn't let ds keep it because of bil's silly conditions. Ds is a teen and yes he ruins a lot of hats and clothes. He comes home all muddy a lot. The hat would get muddy from that.

A teenager shouldn't be ruining clothes and hats on a regular basis. Or be getting muddy all the time. I have on my fourth teenager and unless they are playing a sport, painting, or participating in some other activity they do not come home covered in mud nor do they ruin clothes and hats. DS has had some of his hats for over a decade.

Oh sh*t. I would prefer my teens to be out getting dirty and they do

I don't care if they get dirty. I care if they are constantly ruining clothes and hats like the OP said her teen does. Mine would continue to wear ruined, worn out clothes if they couldn't learn to care for their things because mom wouldn't be providing new things.

[CherryTreez]

A teenager shouldn't be ruining clothes and hats on a regular basis. Or be getting muddy all the time. I have on my fourth teenager and unless they are playing a sport, painting, or participating in some other activity they do not come home covered in mud nor do they ruin clothes and hats. DS has had some of his hats for over a decade.

Oh sh*t. I would prefer my teens to be out getting dirty and they do

I don't care if they get dirty. I care if they are constantly ruining clothes and hats like the OP said her teen does. Mine would continue to wear ruined, worn out clothes if they couldn't learn to care for their things because mom wouldn't be providing new things.

He ruined two hats last summer. One was at scout camp and the other from yard work.

[agander2017]

Maybe he paid a lot of money for the bat. If it was something like that, I would have hung it up and displayed it. Anything else I wouldn't have. Nor would I have allowed my son to get it all dirty and then take a picture of it and send it out just to upset someone. Who does that?

It was a $25 hat. Pretty much a basic one. Ds gets dirty. He sweats a lot outside. He plays sports, does scouts and does yard work for people. He trashed two hats this summer. They did their job of keeping the sun out of his eyes.
Bil treats ds like a baby. He thinks because he is older and ds is a teen that he can boss ds around. It's a build up of many things.

Who gives gifts with conditions?

Your first post said "Bat" so I assumed it was a special addition bat of some sort. A hat, well that's different.

[CherryTreez]

Maybe he paid a lot of money for the bat. If it was something like that, I would have hung it up and displayed it. Anything else I wouldn't have. Nor would I have allowed my son to get it all dirty and then take a picture of it and send it out just to upset someone. Who does that?

It was a $25 hat. Pretty much a basic one. Ds gets dirty. He sweats a lot outside. He plays sports, does scouts and does yard work for people. He trashed two hats this summer. They did their job of keeping the sun out of his eyes.
Bil treats ds like a baby. He thinks because he is older and ds is a teen that he can boss ds around. It's a build up of many things.

Who gives gifts with conditions?

Your first post said "Bat" so I assumed it was a special addition bat of some sort. A hat, well that's different.

sorry. Silly autocorrect. I hate it when it does that.

[agander2017]

It was a $25 hat. Pretty much a basic one. Ds gets dirty. He sweats a lot outside. He plays sports, does scouts and does yard work for people. He trashed two hats this summer. They did their job of keeping the sun out of his eyes.
Bil treats ds like a baby. He thinks because he is older and ds is a teen that he can boss ds around. It's a build up of many things.

Who gives gifts with conditions?

Your first post said "Bat" so I assumed it was a special addition bat of some sort. A hat, well that's different.

sorry. Silly autocorrect. I hate it when it does that.

Yeah, me too. It's nobody's friend.