Arranged marriages in 2018

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Valentina327
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Poietes wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:17 am As long as they are willing and not forced I don't see the issue. People can live the life they choose.
Exactly. I thought, at least today, that the woman could decline in the end. I might be wrong.
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Anonymous 3 wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:54 am I see nothing wrong with it as long as both partners in the marriage agree to it.
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agreed
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HaggardWitch
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All you women agreeing with arranged marriage is a damn shame. Yeah, you (anyone) met ONE couple who was happy so you think everyone is happy. Hate to tell you this but this is how women were turned into commodities. You're (again, anyone) waaaay underestimating the consequences here.

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I have no problem with it if the woman has a choice. I know a family the younger dd is 17 and has been friends with my dd for many years. Her future husband is already picked out for her by her father. She has expressed to me she wants to pick out her own husband but doesn't really have a choice. Hopefully, when the time comes she will feel like she has a choice. Her sister who is technically 23 due to her special needs is more like 7. the original ceremony happened over Skype. she was excited because she got to wear a pretty dress. a couple of months later she was taken out of the country to go meet her husband in person. she came back pregnant. It took him some time to be allowed to come here to the U.S to live. by then his son was already born. The baby is being raised by his grandmother because his mother is not capable. the whole situation just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
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Momto2boys973
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as long as all parties are consenting adults. Many cultures around the world and throughout history have had this practice. The idea of marriage as a romantic thing is actually pretty recent and mostly a western view.
My boys will likely have a “semi-arranged” marriages. I say “semi” because in my community the parents are very involved in the choosing of a spouse for their children, but it’s ultimately the kids’ choice.
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Why would you think it demeans women but not men? After all, all of us agreeing with it are saying that it should be consensual on BOTH parts. If not, we’re not agreeing with that. If the conditions are the same for both parties, then why does it make only the woman a commodity?
And yeah. Assimilation makes life easier. It doesn’t necessarily make it better or happier, though. I’ve had both. My life may not be easier now, but it’s certainly a much better life than I had before. And actually, in many ways, it is also easier now that I think about it.
HaggardWitch wrote: Tue Dec 18, 2018 10:25 am All you women agreeing with arranged marriage is a damn shame. Yeah, you (anyone) met ONE couple who was happy so you think everyone is happy. Hate to tell you this but this is how women were turned into commodities. You're (again, anyone) waaaay underestimating the consequences here.

And BTW, assimilation makes life so much easier.
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HaggardWitch
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You certainly look at the world with innocent eyes. Arranged marriages are not consented to, they're enforced. The parents--in this situation, the fathers--make the agreement. Those no consenting; there's doing what they're told. This is a slippery slope.


Momto2boys973 wrote: Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:55 pm Why would you think it demeans women but not men? After all, all of us agreeing with it are saying that it should be consensual on BOTH parts. If not, we’re not agreeing with that. If the conditions are the same for both parties, then why does it make only the woman a commodity?
And yeah. Assimilation makes life easier. It doesn’t necessarily make it better or happier, though. I’ve had both. My life may not be easier now, but it’s certainly a much better life than I had before. And actually, in many ways, it is also easier now that I think about it.
HaggardWitch wrote: Tue Dec 18, 2018 10:25 am All you women agreeing with arranged marriage is a damn shame. Yeah, you (anyone) met ONE couple who was happy so you think everyone is happy. Hate to tell you this but this is how women were turned into commodities. You're (again, anyone) waaaay underestimating the consequences here.

And BTW, assimilation makes life so much easier.
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QuantumNursing wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:15 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:54 am
mommeruchy wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:45 am What’s wrong with arranged marriages? My marriage was arranged (not in 2018 though hehe). Dh and I are still very happily married 10+ years later with 5 beautiful children as are all of my siblings who also had arranged marriages (most of them have way more kids than me though). Of course they don’t work all the time but when you come from a culture in which arranged marriages happen it’s just the norm. I don’t find the secular way of dating to be any more right or wrong because secular people have different ideas of that versus the community I come from. What works for you doesn’t work for everyone and all that.
It takes away the right to choose. Therefore, it makes it inhuman, because people are playing god and taking away people's right to choose. No one should be forced to do something they don't want too.
Different cultures should not have to live there lives according to our cultures and our norms
Exactly. Globalization is not always a good thing. We don’t need to push western “values” on other cultures. It doesn’t work and wipes out cultures.
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HaggardWitch wrote: Tue Dec 18, 2018 10:25 am All you women agreeing with arranged marriage is a damn shame. Yeah, you (anyone) met ONE couple who was happy so you think everyone is happy. Hate to tell you this but this is how women were turned into commodities. You're (again, anyone) waaaay underestimating the consequences here.

And BTW, assimilation makes life so much easier.
Right, I’m reading these comments like wtf?!
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