So I was torn at first but then realized a big difference: She was being a bully to someone she didn’t care for much and she had no intention of teaching a lesson to. A father is the opposite. So it’s our duties as parents to transmit that message in a way that doesn’t sink us to their level.
A couple of years ago was my high school’s 25th reunion. When they were discussing costs on the WhatsApp group they created, I knew some people may have found that expensive. So I said I wanted to buy a ticket and donate it to anyone who needed it, but that I had no interest in attending (as I said, I was bullied myself). I started getting messages from people asking me why and blah, blah, blah and I eventually told the truth. And I said that even now, the memories of the humiliation I suffered back then was painful and I really had no interest in reliving that part of my life. I even had one of my former bullies contact me privately, offer an apology and asking me to go. I eventually did go and so many of my former classmates thanked me for my message because they showed it to their kids. To show them how hurting a person now, as fun and innocent as it seems, is something that can hurt them even 25 years later. That’s a much better lesson than humiliating your own kids.
While I understand the concept of a taste of your own medicine, ultimately that taste is still focused on how YOU feel. It doesn’t translate into having empathy and compassion for others. Quite the contrary, the kid is likely to feel you’re being mean and unfair and find at least a dozen ways to show how “it’s different” to justify themselves. The lesson is still you not wanting to feel that way, not in caring that others feel the same. When you can show your kid how others feel and have that tap into their own feelings, then you taught something.
carterscutie85 wrote: ↑Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:57 pmAt the same time the girl could have been humiliating the kid she bullied. Bullying is more than hitting, calling names, etc. Especially with girls. That was a big thing when I went to school was humiliating other kids to bully them. Boys were mostly physical while girls were mental. Maybe she needs a taste of her own medicine.Momto2boys973 wrote: ↑Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:49 pmWhile I agree with the dad’s punishment, I don’t agree with adding humiliation to it. How can you teach a child not to bully by humiliating them online?
I always try to be really careful not to humiliate my children even when they deserve a scolding. I take them aside and privately do whatever needs to be done, but never in front of others, not even a brother. Humiliation doesn’t teach anything, it just hurts.