What do you think of the viral video

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carterscutie85
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:57 pm

Momto2boys973 wrote:
Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:49 pm
While I agree with the dad’s punishment, I don’t agree with adding humiliation to it. How can you teach a child not to bully by humiliating them online?
I always try to be really careful not to humiliate my children even when they deserve a scolding. I take them aside and privately do whatever needs to be done, but never in front of others, not even a brother. Humiliation doesn’t teach anything, it just hurts.
At the same time the girl could have been humiliating the kid she bullied. Bullying is more than hitting, calling names, etc. Especially with girls. That was a big thing when I went to school was humiliating other kids to bully them. Boys were mostly physical while girls were mental. Maybe she needs a taste of her own medicine.
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Momto2boys973
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:21 pm

As a bullied person, I agree that her biggest offense is humiliating others. And that’s how I know there’s no recovering from being humiliated. You carry that for life.
So I was torn at first but then realized a big difference: She was being a bully to someone she didn’t care for much and she had no intention of teaching a lesson to. A father is the opposite. So it’s our duties as parents to transmit that message in a way that doesn’t sink us to their level.
A couple of years ago was my high school’s 25th reunion. When they were discussing costs on the WhatsApp group they created, I knew some people may have found that expensive. So I said I wanted to buy a ticket and donate it to anyone who needed it, but that I had no interest in attending (as I said, I was bullied myself). I started getting messages from people asking me why and blah, blah, blah and I eventually told the truth. And I said that even now, the memories of the humiliation I suffered back then was painful and I really had no interest in reliving that part of my life. I even had one of my former bullies contact me privately, offer an apology and asking me to go. I eventually did go and so many of my former classmates thanked me for my message because they showed it to their kids. To show them how hurting a person now, as fun and innocent as it seems, is something that can hurt them even 25 years later. That’s a much better lesson than humiliating your own kids.

While I understand the concept of a taste of your own medicine, ultimately that taste is still focused on how YOU feel. It doesn’t translate into having empathy and compassion for others. Quite the contrary, the kid is likely to feel you’re being mean and unfair and find at least a dozen ways to show how “it’s different” to justify themselves. The lesson is still you not wanting to feel that way, not in caring that others feel the same. When you can show your kid how others feel and have that tap into their own feelings, then you taught something.
carterscutie85 wrote:
Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:57 pm
Momto2boys973 wrote:
Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:49 pm
While I agree with the dad’s punishment, I don’t agree with adding humiliation to it. How can you teach a child not to bully by humiliating them online?
I always try to be really careful not to humiliate my children even when they deserve a scolding. I take them aside and privately do whatever needs to be done, but never in front of others, not even a brother. Humiliation doesn’t teach anything, it just hurts.
At the same time the girl could have been humiliating the kid she bullied. Bullying is more than hitting, calling names, etc. Especially with girls. That was a big thing when I went to school was humiliating other kids to bully them. Boys were mostly physical while girls were mental. Maybe she needs a taste of her own medicine.
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famousglm714
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:23 pm

I think it's fine. If he hadn't followed her the whole time I'd think he was awful.
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Momto2boys973
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:26 pm

Me too.
But he could’ve followed her without recording the whole thing and posting it online...
famousglm714 wrote:
Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:23 pm
I think it's fine. If he hadn't followed her the whole time I'd think he was awful.
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famousglm714
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:27 pm

Momto2boys973 wrote:
Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:26 pm
Me too.
But he could’ve followed her without recording the whole thing and posting it online...
famousglm714 wrote:
Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:23 pm
I think it's fine. If he hadn't followed her the whole time I'd think he was awful.
I can get behind that. I feel like he's looking for his 15 minutes.
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cellomom26
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:43 pm

I think the punishment is fine, but a video is over the top.
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LiveWhatULove
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:35 pm

I have strong feelings either way about her requirement to walk to school. But I'm not sure it will impact the real issue of why she is bullying another child, not prevent it from happening in a different environment. I'm not sure if he did any other type of discipline.
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Foreverme123
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:43 pm

Sounds good to me.

I don't believe anyone out there who's old enough the understand their actions, which a 10 year old is, is too good for a taste of their own medicine. And I can guarantee you that if I catch one of my kids bullying, they'll WISH for that little girl's punishment instead of the one they'll receive.
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NotACatfish
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:54 pm

I think the punishment is fair, but I don’t agree with him making it a video for the world to see. Walking to school is a logical consequence that won’t harm her.
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flowerfunleah
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Unread post Thu Dec 06, 2018 3:02 pm

Logical consequences to her actions - she bullied a child, she got kicked off the bus, she expected no repercussions because "Daddy can drive me to school now." but Daddy was smarter than that, good for him! The logical consequence to losing your ride is walking and while I think 5 miles is QUITE a long way it won't hurt her, he was there to observe if she got too cold or was in danger, and I bet she won't do it again.
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