Forgetful people

Anonymous 1

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No she does not have mental or physical illness. I think she is forgetful and also some selfishness involved and sometimes overbooks things.
Anonymous 2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:49 pm OP, something to consider: Does the person that's not showing up suffer from any illness (mental or physical)? Perhaps it is that he/she has all the intentions in the world of showing up but then, the party day arrives and he/she just isn't up for it. Just a thought.
Anonymous 1

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Yeah sometimes she doesn’t even call or text to tell me....either she truly forgot again or she doesn’t want to deal with it so she will just act like she forgot.
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:20 pm
Anonymous 2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:49 pm OP, something to consider: Does the person that's not showing up suffer from any illness (mental or physical)? Perhaps it is that he/she has all the intentions in the world of showing up but then, the party day arrives and he/she just isn't up for it. Just a thought.
But if that's the case it's still rude to not call or anything. At the very least the person can call or text and say "Sorry I won't be there today I'm just not feeling well." It can be that simple.
Anonymous 1

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That’s what I did...checked in the day before and they said thanks for the reminder.....and then the next day no call/no show. I guess saying thanks for the reminder was not technically saying they are coming but I would at least tell the person the day of if I am coming or not. Well really I would have told the person awhile back If I was
coming or not....not the day of.
Olioxenfree wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:41 pm Yes, if I enjoy their company, I'd just check in with them the day before.
Anonymous 2

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OK. I feel differently about that. I have a friend who suffers from a few autoimmune disorders. Coupled with those, she also suffers from depression. I've come to know that if she can possibly be present, she will be. The sky will not fall if she doesn't appear and doesn't notify me that she won't be present.
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:20 pm
Anonymous 2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:49 pm OP, something to consider: Does the person that's not showing up suffer from any illness (mental or physical)? Perhaps it is that he/she has all the intentions in the world of showing up but then, the party day arrives and he/she just isn't up for it. Just a thought.
But if that's the case it's still rude to not call or anything. At the very least the person can call or text and say "Sorry I won't be there today I'm just not feeling well." It can be that simple.
Anonymous 2

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I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way about your friendship with this person. I hope that something gives and that it gets better for you soon. Have you spoken with her about how you feel?
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:14 pm I truly love and care about this person but I have had to let go a lot as she almost always disappoints me. Her “crumbs” have kept me going with trying for a long time and now the crumbs don’t feel like much. My dh says to just take one thing at a time and I don’t have to make some big decision. I am trying to do that.

quote=Traci_Momof2 post_id=755873 time=1594153121 user_id=352]
Depends on how close I am to them. Close family or really good friends I would continue to make the effort. More casual friends or not so close family, I would just stop inviting them. If they can't make the effort to use a calendar and remember on their own, then why should I make the effort to keep inviting them.
[/quote]
Anonymous 4

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It sounds less like forgetfulness and more like “I don’t want to be there”. Take the hint and stop asking.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 2:35 pm I do remind them and they still “forget”. That’s what makes it more frustrating. It’s so easy nowadays to set your own reminders on your phone and things like that. I feel if someone truly wanted to be there, they would make more of an effort to remember.
Frau Holle wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 2:30 pm Yes, why wouldn’t I ?
If I actually want them there and they are forgetting, reminding them makes it more likely they will come.
Anonymous 2

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Who is this person to you? Friend? Or Family?
Have you ever had any difficulties, arguments, or words with her?
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 2:25 pm If someone is “forgetful” quite often/most of the time to any type of invite (even after reminding them) do you continue to keep inviting them to things?
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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:20 pm
Anonymous 2 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:49 pm OP, something to consider: Does the person that's not showing up suffer from any illness (mental or physical)? Perhaps it is that he/she has all the intentions in the world of showing up but then, the party day arrives and he/she just isn't up for it. Just a thought.
But if that's the case it's still rude to not call or anything. At the very least the person can call or text and say "Sorry I won't be there today I'm just not feeling well." It can be that simple.
Mental illness is never just that simple
Anonymous 5

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Could your friend have depression? I suffered from depression and while I wanted desperately to visit with friends, I'll often times would find a last minute excuse not to as I just couldn't walk out my door.
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Sure.

I wouldn't expect them to show but I'd continue to invite them.
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