Mostly a vent but advice appreciated update

Superbutt
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Ok, my sd12 has really crossed boundaries here. We (mom, stepdad, dad and me) found out she had stolen an old ipod and was using it to access the internet, instagram, etc. (She isn't allowed based on past behaviors)
Well we looked at her emails and there was one where she told a friend her stepdad got an erection during a show she was watching with him where "ppl were F***ing".
Her dad and I at first assumed it was likely she was lying, because she lies a LOT lately,and was already in trouble for lying when we found all this, and yes she is in therapy. Plus she said she lied about it for attention. But thinking about it, we don't know what to believe.
Then she went to bm's (scared that her mom and stepdad would hate her) and told her mom she sees me naked all the time...that I walk out of my room butt naked, all the time...which is 100% untrue. Now i'm not going anywhere but this is very uncomfortable for me. I don't associate with people who tell damaging lies, or liars in general, but this is one of our kids.
Plus i always sit and talk with her, give advice when she needs it, and she kniws i'm there fir her, but now i feel i can't trust her at all and i don't even want to be alone with her.
So yeah I guess I'm just venting..i can't sleep and feel sick that she would be so comfortable spouting off things that can hurt people like this.
Eta
And i have posted about her before, but sometimes I have said dd just to avoid the flack for being a sm. But we all are parents to her, and her bio parents welcome stepdad and i parenting the kids as well.

Another eta
Also!
She has been caught multiple times being very inappropriate, sexting, and looking at porn so she cannot use the internet or have a device that accesses the internet in our home. Bm always says we are blowing it out of proportion(through texts) and that we should focus on the fact that sd has a good heart.
She also admitted to me that she didnt believe us when we sent her screenshots of what sd was doing , she said she thought we were lying and doctored the photos???




Picking her up from bm soon. Checked out 15 non fiction teen books from the library (self esteem, depression, sexting, divorce, anxiety, body image, stds, teen pregnancy and more)
That she will start on when she gets home. I even made quizzes for some of the. To male sure she is reading and learning.
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stilltfez
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I think the four of you need to talk and get a game plan, then you need to sit with you four and her and discuss her lies and the repercussions. She also should begin counselling w/ the family.
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stilltfez
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I think the four of you need to talk and get a game plan, then you need to sit with you four and her and discuss her lies and the repercussions. She also should begin counselling w/ the family.
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Anonymous 1

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You all need to figure out why she's lying about these things.
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Tell her counselor/therapist and ask them hat you all should do next.
Anonymous 2

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I'd be afraid a counselor/therapist would make a cps report as a mandated reporter. Ugh.

Definitely don't be alone with her. Hopefully you can get better advice from someone else. She is manipulating something. Kids know they can hurt adults with accusations.
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Conweis
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Has she been diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder?
Superbutt
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Conweis wrote: Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:20 am Has she been diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder?
No, but her counselor is new, her last one quit before they could spend much time together, too.
Superbutt
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Anonymous 2 wrote: Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:09 am I'd be afraid a counselor/therapist would make a cps report as a mandated reporter. Ugh.

Definitely don't be alone with her. Hopefully you can get better advice from someone else. She is manipulating something. Kids know they can hurt adults with accusations.
And i don't think i mentioned this but we had already filed court stuff, so we are currently awaiting a court date and all these lies/emails came up
Superbutt
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:52 am You all need to figure out why she's lying about these things.
Personally i think she was worried that we found the stepdad email and so she said the other stuff to shift the focus. She was afraid she wouldnt get to see her mom anymore. And bm told her that her and her dad were going back to court and that we wanted full custody because of many reasons. So she has been worried and stressed over that. Maybe she is trying to prevent that? But she really had no reason to lie about the stepdad thing, imo...then again she does lie about a lot of things.
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